Kaan - Searching lyrics

[Intro & Bridge] And I'm just searching for that love I never got when I was... And I'm just searching for that love I never got when I was... [Verse 1] Why am I lost? Giving into every single vice of my life even though I know the outcome, looking for the answer I can never find it, what is on my mind? All the insecurities that I am blessed with Stressed that I'm never gonna make it A man left vacant from all the pain he concealed I said it with the validity, I felt as though I needed, defeated by everything I go through I don't even know you, speaking with a figment of my imagination Tryna find my soul, everything that I will say up on a record Is similar to a**embling a reason to live, I pray Christ forgives And this life I been, devoid without a purpose Diverted but not emerging, immersed in the agony A life, I can never get it right to enlighten and I fight and finding the peace My release is the music, and now I need a muse Refuse to give you something you consider less than Confused that you'd believe in the words of the next man Amused that you would listen and tell me what I am I don't even understand, cause I was never connected I'm gone and complacent The way that I've been living is off of the reservation The stay of the state of steady evaluation Evasive, I wish I wasn't isolated, so sedated, filled with hatred Still retracing all the mistakes that I made And never make 'em again, I thought that I wanted friends, but people only appear when they see That it's beneficial, dependent on emotions That I am willing to give, I'm getting close To insanity Everything is cynical, sending em a better sign The pain is never subliminal Seriously invested, I'm resurrecting correcting a policy A personal put the place, I deface the abrasive, you cannot erase this The moment that you put in the ground, and I made it The times ain't change, and it's always gonna be the same sh** Give a negative image that you are guaranteed to receive in an abundance of wealth Attempts to cover insecurity That you have currently felt Materials never helped They're only there to mask it, manifest, manipulate, relative the energy Praying never reciprocates I'm working to eliminate the mindstate perpetuated by literal ignorance defended it by saying you playing it for the beat And the lyrics they never matter you seeing as obsolete And we seeking to see the center a hypothetical sinner with theoretical lineage to emphasize the innocence a suicidal n***a to be honest I don't give a sh** I'm really getting sick of it simmering every time to the world when I need to be alone to atone for sins and trust pa**age Can I get a pastor You ain't gotta say it I know I'm a f**ing ba*tard Prepare for the worst I fell like I'm ready for hell I'm a different type of n***a that's very easy to tell I think I'm in need of help For pills to ingest for instance my intent ended it all n***a Put praying to God quicker the false repentance invented and said it was an anomaly impossible to proper the pain is part of the problem Presented as a constant I got a lot of secrets that's sitting upon my conscience Call it what you want but it better be the truth never lie upon the n***a that was living in reclusion Everything I do is amazing its no illusion Whatever n***as given the vision has been Illuded Damn I cannot breathe All of the evil I see is source for my apathy actually felling like I'm insignificant I am not different never been better A lack of intelligence taking its toll is embedded inside of me Suffering silently see my demise is a way to be free a depressing confession connected The sentence malevolence given in my adolescence Compressing the session until its effected the words that you have for the due convalescence With question obsessing the day I expire Attire from livid submitting my spirit affirmatively till I'm permanently in a place of seclusion I cannot tell what is real as I fill up the page with the prophecy Pardon the protestant lacking the sympathy making obvious deal with the consequence I just pray my d**h is quick I'm a son of a b**h and I'm dying the way I was born told Told you I never depend I can't wait for the moment that I meet my savior to tell me this is the end I just wish I was no longer here is the cause of the pain and the source of my fears Lord [Bridge] And I'm just searching for that love I never got when I was... And I'm just searching for that love I never got when I was... [Outro] And I'm just searching for that love I never got when I was young And I'm just searching for that love I never got when I was young I'm at the end and I don't know if imma make it out alive I'm at the end and I don't know if imma make it out alive All these years of isolation drove this young n***a insane All these years of isolation drove this young n***a insane Said I don't think you'll ever understand my motherf**ing pain Said I don't think you'll ever understand my motherf**ing pain Said I don't think you'll ever understand my motherf**ing pain Damn!