Julien Baker - Claws in Your Back lyrics

Collecting the circles that tell us How old we are beneath our eyelids Wearing a purple badge to prove what I did Pump the vitals out of my wrist ‘Cause I’m conducting an experiment on how it feels to die Or stay alive So try to stay calm, ’cause nobody knows The violent partner you carry around With claws in your back, ripping your clothes And listing your failures out loud It’s more than the skeleton next to my coat The black that I held in the back of my throat Follows you straight into the dark; The easy way out and the hardest part When it won’t leave me alone I’m better off learning How to be Living with demons I’ve Mistaken for saints If you keep it between us I think they’re the same I think I can love The sickness you made ‘Cause I take it all back, I change my mind I wanted to stay I wanted to stay