Julian Standen - Situation Comedy Blues lyrics

What's a laugh? The sound of common-sense falling apart What's common-sense? A million unthinking hearts At the end of the working day And who am I? Call me the barman standing waiting for the workers To drink their work away I'm the man who serves the laughter To the drunkards of disaster After they've got plastered on the news And I've got the situation comedy blues What's the situation? This man has been abandoned by his woman What's the reason? He's lost his sense of humour This man is sober And so he s gone to bed with another writer's scripts And his wife has had to move in with her mother And the man who serves the laughter To the drunkards of disaster After they've got plastered on the news Has got the situation comedy blues He's been devising a new series Where the first man to appear is Pakistani and the second is a queer Who rings the bell in tights and biker's gear And he tells them that he's sorry to disturb them But the sari that the wife had on today was out of sight And could he maybe borrow it tonight? And the man who serves the laughter To the workaholics after They've got drunk on the disasters of the news Has got the situation comedy blues So the Paki asks the queen in to his brilliantly-lit kitchen Where he demonstrates his do-it-yourself tools He's the type who doesn't gladly suffer fools But he electrocutes his finger in his biggest Black and Decker When his wife appears in towel and rubber hat And the bath she s running floods the neighbours' flat I've been sitting here unhappily Trying to write this comedy When I hear a sudden laugh in the next room And thinking it's my woman who's come home I call her name expectantly and, glad that she's come back to me I throw away my trivialising pen . And then the television laughs again Marie come back to me