Jorma Taccone - Threw It On The ground lyrics

I was walking through the city streets And a man walks up to me and hands me the latest energy drink "Run faster, jump higher" Man, I'm not gonna let you poison me I threw it on the ground You must think I'm a joke I ain't gonna be part of your system Man, pump that garbage in another man's veins I go to my favorite hotdog stand And the dude says "You come here all the time. Here's one for free." I said "Man, what'd I look like? A charity case?" I took it and threw it on the ground I don't need your hand-outs I'm an adult Please, you can't buy me hotdog man At the Farmer's Market with my so-called girlfriend She hands me her cell phone says It's my dad Man, this ain't my dad, this is a cell phone I threw it on the ground What you think I'm stupid? I'm not a part of your system My dad's not a phone, duh! Some poser hands me cake at a birthday party What you want me to do with this? Eat it? Happy Birthday to the ground I threw the rest of the cake too Welcome to the real world jack a** So many things to throw on the ground Like this and this and that and even this I'm an adult Two hollywood phonies try to give me their autograph GROUND! Nobody wants your autograph, phonies Then the two phonies got up Turned out they had a taser And they tase me in the bu*t hole Fell to the ground The phonies didn't let up Tasin' on my bu*t hole Over and over I was screaming and squirming My bu*t hole was on fire The moral of the story is you can't trust the system Man!