Jordan Vella - A lack of normalcy lyrics

Don't ever tell me what my f**ing anxiety is Don't tell me its me getting nervous or me getting scared of something simple like talking to my crush or making a presentation Don't tell me its an act of attention or that its my fault You think i want this? No i f**ing don't want to pa** out when it gets too hard No i don't want to miss cla** because i failed to act like a normal human I can't f**ing help it I wish i could get away from it i would do anything not to be a freak or a popper or dépendant on everyone else around me id love to be able to talk about my future without feeling like i won't have one or not having to worry about collapsing not my legs shaking and giving out or me tripping no my fear is that ill collapse mentally under the pressure or the stress My fear is that my mind will shut down slowly slipping into oblivion falling apart into pieces I wish i could be alone but i need someone to distract me from my f**ing mind the one thing i can't f**ing escape if i can't have someone, i need something to make my thoughts illegible unable to be understood by myself if I'm sober its a f**ing trap I fall into this void I'm surrounded by unescapable thougts fears nightmares Im surrounded by the stench of the cologne my dad used to use after he f**ed his who*e I'm surrounded by voices of the girls who used to tell me i should've pulled the trigger I'm surrounded by things i wish i could forget I wish i could forget the my best friend wanted to k** herself or that i was a failed abortion or that i was never good enough for him i dont want to be scared of my thoughts anymore i don't want to feel like the only way out of this is taking too many sleeping pills or pulling a trigger I want it to stop the constant battle to live or not to live I want to fall in love with the oxygen in my lungs I don't want to be afraid of myself or what ill do if I'm to sober i want to be normal i want to be normal i want to be normal