Jordan Evans - My Mental Trip lyrics

Part 1: Instrumental: Sing About Me by Kendrick Lamar [Intro] (Man) What are some of the triggers that can lead somebody to become an OCD sufferer? (Woman) Sure, so, it has two main parts; the O stands for Obsessions, and those are thoughts that come into your mind that you don't want, that are negative. So, they might be thinking that you're dirty, that you're contaminated. You might be thinking that somebody in your family is going to die, the really distressing thoughts (Man) Hm… (Woman) They'll cause anxiety, and as a result of that anxiety people develop compulsions, which are sort of habits that they repeat… [Verse] So my father worked as hard as f** to further me since birth I've been carved and turned to a heartfelt person For starters I just can't help but hurt When I see people sleep on the streets or even speak on their daily grief My chief instinct is to leave them seeming a little bit lighter Beam and feel like whenever they're stuck looking through a peephole In need and seeking a hand that I'll be there But I see clear now that I'm older I sometimes regret Switching my temper and mind so I empathise and let things slide Emerge as the better guy Never once did I ever feel I ever tried my best inside The effect is I stick to myself but I feel for you if you need me to Don't stress/ unwind/ do my best to try and protect you but There's a second guy with this pen I write I send all types of Devils right to your ears so you hear my messed up mind (Who's next in line?) I won't say names/ don't mention mine Or I won't stay calm or friendly/ nah I'll spit in your face Then piss it twice for the second time/ listen fine then I'll let you slide With rhymes I intend to try distinguish if I'm even special Why? Cause I feel like I need that purpose to get through life And it'd just be perfect settling down with a family A job and working/ accepting my choices Voice kept quiet and holstered/ noises hoisting me up Provoking a soul blown note unfold in my throat Responding back with a big fat notice board And holding a sign with two middle fingers shown No spoken words in total (total…) ‘Til every word gets totalled then lays in waste at my vocal's feet Then dipped in the casket/ close it/ sealed too tight No chance it could open/ trust, I'm the last to even hope it could Got a big heart/ it's getting colder still/ my thoughts are overk** When I kick-start it's hard to control the wheel Hold on tight my oversight just coincides With the fact that I keep on showing signs of breaking away I'm just tryna be a good man taking my place in the JAK ‘Til fate engraves my final day and I fade and they Reminisce over me/ my God… I can't even think that far *{Gunshots}* hear that? These thoughts shot down by a brain that's laced with Anxiety Part 2: Instrumental: Pound Cake by Drake So I sit here and it's silent seeking help but I'm denied it Speak to no one/ keep it quiet All I need for me to feel some kind of freedom is a fire Deep inside to spark and breathe a brand new life in me It's frightening but I persevere/ my personal aversion to this beat Kept me from murking it so let's be clear I end up thinking back/ sink right into wintertime Sit in library feeling this and that So lost and pissed I tried to hit my stride but nothing came Girl troubles/ my world stumbled/ I fixed up then I fell crumbled Like f** that! I'm in Hell stuck here in combat Fight myself in my mental state/ I bust back ‘Least I tried to but I fall flat/ tools lack in my tool bag Stay cool act like I'm good/ nah You see me smile/ meanwhile inside I'm tearing up Scared as f** I seem like I'm always focussed on the darker side My heart resides in this abyss but flip the script to mark my rise I made it out but can't deny the stress I felt My fast decline/ she's pa**ing by the gla** at night Before she used to step inside… Now it's small talk and it's awkward And I'm angry but I'm thoughtful at the same time feeling nauseous ‘Cause I'm caught up in this bullsh** but don't get me wrong It's better now/ I wrote this song to settle down These bars are my catharsis for the nights I'm feeling troubled And lethargic like a Martian/ an outcast/ I know it's on When my pen is out/ off without a second doubt Going in and telling motherf**ers I'ma get ‘em Armageddon now but stop… I'm trapped within my gla** box/ when the album drops You'll let me out