Jontron - Of Murder & Catfish lyrics

[Tamara Holder] You said that women are better suited in the home [Gavin McInnes] You would be much happier at home with a husband Go home to a hunk [Michael Gregory] Is he for real? ‘Cause my brain is hurting [Gavin McInnes] Women are pretending that they like working [Michael and Sarah Gregory] You know who else pretends that work is fun? Every single person since the world's begun And dude don't you know what the truth is Having babies and getting paid ain't mutually exclusive, no [Gavin McInnes] Women earn less because they choose to [Michael and Sarah Gregory] That makes as much sense as a llama in a tutu Did you travel here in a time machine I hate to tell you what's gonna happen in 1919 [Mike Huckabee] I'm running for president I'm running for president I learned how to handle a gun And I never thought about murdering someone Murdering someone [JonTron] Well, with an argument like that, I'm sold Finally a candidate that we can all like All the others tried to suffocate me last night In my bedroom Hillary Clinton said, “Meet your doom” [Mike Huckabee and Jontron] I learned how to handle a fishing pole (Great!) So we could catch catfish, catch catfish We could catch catfish, catch catfish [Jon McCain] The USDA has spent 20 million dollars To set up the catfish office Without inspecting a single catfish I'm not making that up [Nev Schulman] What if a catfish ain't really a catfish It's just a girl pretending to be a catfish With a face like that who wouldn't tap this You'll be horrified to find out it's Daniel Radcliffe [Andrew Gregory] I wouldn't be horrified by that, not a single smidgen [Megyn Kelly] On the subject of Iraq [Jeb Bush] Yup [Megyn Kelly] Knowing what we know now [Jeb Bush] Yup [Megyn Kelly] Would you have authorized the invasion? [Jeb Bush] Yup, I would have [Rand Paul] Nobody thought Hussein was a great guy But i thought it was a mistake even at the time [Chris Christie] Tom Brady, he's handsome [Michael Gregory] But I was asking about Medicaid expansion [Chris Christie] Tom Brady, he's wealthy [Michael Gregory] Your obsession with him is getting a little unhealthy [Chris Christie] I think the punishment is too harsh [Michael Gregory] Are we still talking about Brady? [Chris Christie] Tom Brady [Michael Gregory] This is getting too crazy [Chris Christie] Tom Brady [Michael Gregory] I don't think this interview is worth it [Tom Brady] To me those balls are perfect [Chris Christie] Tom Brady [Rand Paul] The Patriot Act allows the police to write their own warrants There is no probable cause They don't have to be signed by a judge [Andrew Gregory] But the police don't have any flaws [Evan Gregory] If I'm gonna get arrested might as well break some laws [Andrew Gregory] Hey don't murder anyone in my squad [Nev Schulman] Well, I guess he's no Huckabee And I won't be voting for him [Jon McCain] This catfish here This catfish here [Mike Huckabee] So we could catch catfish [Jon McCain] This catfish here [Mike Huckabee] So we could catch [Chris Christie] Tom Brady [Jeb Bush] Yup [Chris Christie] He's handsome [Michael Gregory] Shouldn't you be a Jets fan? [Gavin McInnes] Stay home with a husband [Mike Huckabee and JonTron] I learned how to handle a gun And I never thought about murdering someone (Never even thought about it) I never thought about murdering someone Murdering someone