Jonathan Wyman - The Art of Storytelling, Part 1 lyrics

[Intro] Part 1 Chapter 1 Dankonia [Hook] Let me take you to the corner of the game Where the sinners all win and the saints feel pain Where there's no umbrella in the rain Where there's no umbrella in the rain Let me take you to the corner of the game Where the sinners all win and the saints feel pain Where there's no umbrella in the rain Where there's no umbrella in the, in the [Verse] You don't wanna feel nothing close to this See for good behavior, he was the poster kid We were all smoking weed, he wasn't smoking it Always looking like Novak Djokovic Martin came in the game called America from Bulgaria A work visa on the foreign exchange He worked eighty hour weeks all exhausted Boiling lobsters all summer for the tourists in Maine And he was good at it, he did such a dank job That his coworkers nicknamed him "the Tank God" Boss noticed it, it wasn't overlooked Got every order out on time and never overcooked The way he'd swing the saber, split the claws like an English major In the steam of the tank he would blink at vapors Go hard, put the dishes in the sink for later His hard work stuck out like dicks in pajamas Saturday night dinner rush Slayed more slips than bananas Bumping Juelz Santana with Amber Clock out, high-five, apron in the hamper He could only do right in his new life His boss copped him a brand new blue bike It was a Raleigh, balling Now he could bike to work instead of waiting for the trolley It had a mini Maine license plate "TANKGOD" on it with the letters engraved Upon receiving the gift, his eyes started leaking a bit He was completely appreciative He felt good the next couple weeks rollin' New bike plus he got a raise, like golden Sunlight, then one night he laid his head down Woke up the next day, the bike's nowhere to be found He said "sh**" in Bulgarian and walked to work He was so disheartened that he forgot his shirt He worked a double then he got a ride home from Amber He told her he was impressed how she drove a standard But as they turned onto his road They saw the red and blue lights dancing on the windows "I wonder what happened," said Martin And then they saw that they were parked right in front of his apartment Cops and guards, chargers and one in a larger SUV surrounded Martin's cottage by the harbor They came to bust a thief, s**s to be Martin 'cause he's who they want in custody So he steps out the whip, looking European They said, "Put your f**ing hands up where I can see 'em!" Martin complied, though he didn't know why "I mean, I had always been such a good guy" But the cops thought, that they had caught him red-handed The eastern European voiced blue bike bandit But Martin had been robbed, God damn it He had woken up this morning and his bike had vanished But, now the bike was back Lying next to it was an envelope in the gra** The type people use when depositing cash "What the f** did I do?" Martin wanted to ask But now, it's all cuffed wrists and Mirandas Tears slid down his cheek He yelled, "I don't know what I did!" to Amber She stood there, sobbing in the streets See, Martin won the bad luck lottery He got f**ed in the a**, no sodomy Just a bullsh** end to the Odyssey He got charged with a aggravated robbery [Outro] And then deported, back to Bulgaria And you know he didn't do that sh**, you and I both know that But who did?