Jonathan Wyman - Swagless lyrics

[Hook: Spose] I'm in the place, y'all, trippin' on things I just walked in, spillin' my drink Played ball but I never scored a basket You already know, you ain't gotta ask it (Swagless) You know I'm (Swagless) [Verse 1: Spose] Ugly, clumsy, trust me Sandusky wouldn't f** me You know who's swagless To get my sh** together, I would have to eat magnets (Swagless) So if you're looking, call it off I'm right here homie, swag holocaust Eh, I'm fever than Justin Bieber I tried to do the dougie, it was looking like a seizure I'm accidentally celibate I could sign and drive a boxy Honda SUV and not be in my element I been irrelevant, I'm still delicate But this year, I can bench 85 like Bill Belichick Check it out Drooling out my mouth, falling on a couch I just dropped a coffee, sloppy, and I'm retarded And I only wrote fourteen bars [Hook: Spose] I'm in the place, y'all, trippin' on things I just walked in, spillin' my drink Played ball but I never scored a basket You already know, you ain't gotta ask it (Swagless) You know I'm (Swagless) [Verse 2: Stiky-1] I met this girl named Betty, she was all about it We started dancing, shook her booty all around it I felt so guilty, had to call my man and tell him I hung up and lit a candle, put on Lady Antebellum I walk up to the bar and order cran and Peach Street Peach Street, burn, cruising, sleeping in the backseat I'm so real that I freak if I see a spider I won't walk into a dark room without a lighter Give me the mic and I made it my two-thug sh** I chipped it I'ma be out at a restaurant counting the bill but you know I won't pitch in Glitchin', nonfiction books, my one addiction Picturin' my nana on the couch knittin' me mittens Broke and lazy, making babies Collecting food stamps to save for a Mercedes Man I'm swagless, but I smell good Spray painting Hanukkah stars all over the neighborhood [Hook: Spose] I'm in the place, y'all, trippin' on things I just walked in, spillin' my drink Played ball but I never scored a basket You already know, you ain't gotta ask it (Swagless) You know I'm (Swagless) [Outro] I'm gonna tell you a story This is about me and a fat girl, one time The only reason I did it was ‘cause she had the most humongous tits you've ever seen And you know what? You're gonna laugh at this She actually became a p**no star Her name was Susie, Susan Sparks And, it's snowing, right? And I mean it's snowing a lot, I got my off duty lights on And she's in the f**ing street, and I'm looking at her tits I'm not looking at how fat she is, she got tits like this, really So she goes, "Can you take me to Queens?" I'm like, "Well, I can take ya but you gotta sit up front, the doors in the back are frozen ‘cause it's so cold" (Ha ha ha!) (Is that true?) Now she goes, "You wanna come in the house and have a drink and smoke some weed?" I'm like, wow, I'm definitely getting laid now I go in the house, there's another girl She's not - I mean, I don't go for fat girls The other one was slim, blonde hair, blue eyes I'm like, man, I wanna f** this one, f** fatso But you know when ya - you know something is not gonna happen? I get drunk with 'em, I smoke some pot, and... You don't know which one you wanna do Or if you can do two of them or if they're gonna go for it or if they're not So I said, "You know what? I think I lost a ball game, I gotta get outta here" So now Susan, fatso, goes, "Can you give me a ride to my car?" I go, this is my last f**ing chance (Ha ha ha ha!)