Jonathan Wyman - Blow My Candle Out lyrics

[Verse 1: Spose] If there really is a big fluffy Jesus in the clouds Let him know right now that I take it all back If there really is a muscular, cackling, red Devil in the ground You should tell him save me a shack But since I never saw either at my local Walmart Shopping, yelling at their kids in front of my optics I've been operating under the premise that neither existed Because I base my beliefs in logic But if it's really true, what you say, and when my body's in the ground I'll either float on up or drop right down Then I'm nervous for the verdict, as a person I'm imperfect I've been doing dirt lurking in the gutter with the vermin I don't deserve to go North when I'm gone Glenfiddich rivers, swan shaped bongs And some big tittied angels floating over ponds Singing songs more soothing than Bed Bath & Beyond No, I deserve my skin scorched, skies made of skulls Sasquatches made of fire, as I fall into a gulch, everything black I'd give my left nut and my dick for the chance to go back [Chorus: Spose & Kristina Kentigian] You and I both know I can't shut my mouth But before you blow my candle out Would you please just listen to me here right now? Before you blow my candle out ‘Cause if I had a second time around, I would turn it all around If I had a second time around, I would turn it all around [Verse 2: Spose] Man that's what they all say, you're done No, no, no, shut the f** up and listen for once! ‘Cause I've been sitting on your shoulder, as you've grown colder All of these years, yelling in your ear, but you wouldn't hear You had another plan, too big for little me Let me put it in a rap simile you'll understand I gave you a fair shake Kind of like a Ferris Wheel, during an earthquake Get it? Like you didn't when you had it Couldn't get it locked down, no, don't bother with a frown You were healthy in the mental, potential with the pencil Could've just filled in the stencil but you're tempted by the Devil Content to just to settle, get a bronze medal You laid your picnic in the wrong meadow ‘Cause now you're trembling and mumbling, defending what you've done to him You took the low road, there's a toll booth coming! And guess who's in the booth, man, not I It's the one that the burglars are meeting when they die And the murderers and neighborhood circlers, guy It's not a piece of cake if you want a piece of the pie So I'll have dinner with the winners while you simmer with the sinners Turn your summers into winters, what a bummer, you can whimper You could've been a star, just a glimmer Now let me blow your candle out and make it dimmer [Chorus: Spose & Kristina Kentigian] You and I both know I can't shut my mouth But before you blow my candle out Would you please just listen to me here right now? Before you blow my candle out ‘Cause if I had a second time around, I would turn it all around If I had a second time around, I would turn it all around [Bridge: Spose] Ladies and gentlemen of the congregation, we are gathered here today to celebrate the loss of a demon: Peter Sparker And may he never live again A scourge on this Earth May our children never repeat his mistakes (Hallelujah!) And may he burn eternally [Verse 3: Spose] What do you want me to do? You f**ing sorry excuse You dug your own hole, lie in it, dude No, no, no, that apology's cute, but all will be through I'll blow your candle like the chances you blew Yeah, you had some moments in the radiance But then you'd always go, skulking back into the shade again You disappointed your family, shamed friends I got a list, here's the order of my list that it's in It goes your daughter, your mother, your girl, your brother Jeff, Cam, Matt, your father, sister, and some others So while you wither like Bill Your little life will be forgotten while you're rottin' Wikipedia pages, they will be fadin' While you're waitin' for a pardon from this run-on sentence, unpunctuated arson While you stand there bare Your closet full of skeletons dancing like the flames on your hair Hey, don't be lachrymose, Spose, you're your own foes Make this bed of coals, you can go and sleep there [Chorus: Spose & Kristina Kentigian] You and I both know I can't shut my mouth But before you blow my candle out Would you please just listen to me here right now? Before you blow my candle out ‘Cause if I had a second time around, I would turn it all around If I had a second time around, I would turn it all around