John Knight - Ode to Inventions lyrics

ASPIRIN (1899) Felix Hoffman a pill is making - To cure you if your head is aching BRA (1913) Mary Jacob's made the perfect gift - To give the ladies an up-lift. CD (1965) James Russell said scratchy records - they really annoy me - So to eliminate them - He invented the CD. ELECTRIC KETTLE (1891) It took hours the heat a kettle on the fire - So they invented one much quicker - heated by a wire! ! FRIDGE (1834) The inventor one fears - waited 100 years GPS - Sat. Nav. (1978) You'll not get lost with me - Perhaps you'll end up n the sea. INFERNAL COMBUSTION ENGINE (1859) Etienne Lenoir - The greatest polluter of all time - by far LAPTOP (1982) Bill Moggride now has gone insane - he left his laptop on the train. MICROWAVE OVEN (1946) Peter Spencer discovered it by mistake - what a terrible mistake to make! NINTENDO GAMEBOY (1989) It's my contention - boyhood has been - sacrificed to this gross invention. PAPER CLIP (1892) Lest your papers loose should slip - Secure them with a paper clip. QUERTY KEYBOARD (! 862) Latham Scholes was not heretical - He thought it was more functional than alphabetical RUBBER BANDS (1845) Stephen Perry made a sketch - Of a band of rubber - with a ma**ive stretch. SWISS ARMY KNIFE (1897) For all BOY SCOUTS such bliss - An Army Knife - that's Swiss. TV (1925) Logie Baird - thought children should be seen - As well as heard. UMBRELLA (2400 BC) They keep you cool - they keep you dry - Try not to poke yours in my eye. VACUUM CLEANER (190!) Hubert Booth - my Granddads mucker - He proved he really was no s**er. WHEEL (3500 BC) The unicycle was replaced - we bicycles on two wheels raced. In time we all required more - so most folk drive around on four. ZIP (1913) Bill Sandback lost his trousers on a trip - To make them more secure - he then invented him - a zip.