John Bido - Now I Feel Ya lyrics

...It's a new day... ya know what I'm sayin'? A new day, brings a new problem to a brother And all I gots ta say is thank god for my mother Cause without my mommy dear my life would've been joke Either locked up playin' dead and still slangin' dope but nope The lord he had a plan for me And with his help, my mother made a man of me Didn't blindfold me to the world we was livin' in Taught me how to save my little dividends So when I graduated I'd have a little school money But in the sixth grade I wanted to be the school dummy And flunked outta school with the flag pole And left my mother dear at home with a sad soul Because my mother worked the fingers to the bone Cause we was alone, and me I bought an F home My real pops he broke out with the style So I respect my stepdad, for raisin' another n***a's child So now we livin' comftable Taught me the game and how to be responsible But back then I couldn't see it I wanted to be a grown man at fourteen so the kid's leavin' And ended up in a big fight And told me not to come home until I got my sh** right So now I'm livin' in my grandma's home My grandma's strong, she's got nine kids of her own And keepin' me ain't no big deal But now that I'm much older I see just how the sh** feels Being kind-hearted, not wantin' to tell me no Even though my grandfather just had a stroke And now the money's low And pretty soon a brother's gonna have ta go Or either try to find a job so I can help out I'm in the ghetto, I gots ta get myself out And when I get out I gotta try to pave the way So my family can have a better place to stay I'm losin' all hope, a brother's fallin' short I can't cope, so now I'm slangin' dope And now my granny knows I'm doin' wrong She just prayin' for me heavily Take care of her grandson And the lord must of heard her prayer Cause he made me get a grip And got me on up outta there I heard my mother say them streets is gonna k** ya You couldn't have told me nothin' back then But now I feel ya... I'm eighteen, and now I'm havin' big fun My baby's mother just had my first son May eleven, I never will forget the day A star's born, let's name him little Scarface My first born and yo I'm a proud father I gotta son, I gots ta be my son's father And sellin dope ain't the way that I can get ahead But what the hell, I gots ta keep my baby fed I buy him milk, and pampers tryin ta do my part And he's my son, I gots ta try to make him hard I buy him clothes, and j**ellry not the Tonka toys Because the Tonka toys will only punk my boy And I don't want my son to look at life Through a replica of reality tryin' to make it life-like But yet and still I let my son be a kid Just give him up the real, exactly like my momma did So when he gets to be a man he'll appreciate The game I gave him way back when he used to roller skate And now my son is four years old I really gots ta give the real and try to play the father's role Because these years he'll remember most So it's all about little Marcus and me becomin' close But I got a buncha obstacles If it ain't my line of work it's the girlies on my popsicle Now everybody's got my baby Wantin' to have their hands in my pocket tryin to drive me crazy "It's your daughter, don't she look like you?" I just can't tell, why don't you take it to ma momma do Because my mother knows the real deal All these hoochies poppin' coochie tryin' to get a free meal So now we in and outta cope Tryin' to get mo money, braggin' om the child support Tellin' her friends that she's breakin' me Now eveybody knows, that she was just fakin' G Come to find out, the girl never had me She's the baby's mother but me I ain't the baby's daddy And biological tests can prove You gotta get up off of me and go after the other dude But now I finally got a real daughter No need for the testin' I know that I'm the baby's father I heard my daddy say them hoes will try ta k** ya You couldn't have told me nothin' back then But now I feel ya... I feel ya... Now I'm twenty-two and finally got a grip on life It's nineteen ninety-three, I put away my pocket knife And got a bigger stick to fight with I'm young and black so my choice ain't a nightstick Because we livin' in a concentration set And everyday, we face to face with d**h I seen my homies go and come And judgement day is just somethin we can't run from So I know my number's comin' up So I gotta protect myself from s**ers who be runnin' up And even though I hate k**in' off my own kind I gotta be a man and as a man I'm a defend mine My brother Quanell's tryin' to keep the neighbourhood at peace Don't fight each other, we gots ta stand and fight the beast So united we stand but we gonna fall quick Because we always tryin to take another brother's sh** And the cops is in the same vote Just because we comin' up quick they think we slang dope They shootin' ta k**, they gas ain't sparkin' goods They shot my long time partner Rudy in cold blood And now the story's all twisted up And if they gave the cop the chair I really wouldn't give a f** Because she left my partner's family with memories And after hearin' this I know you gon' remember me But yet in still I find it hard for me to stay in touch I see his parents and then I started breakin' up Because I know what you did was wrong But you won't realize until you dead and gone It ain't no justifiable homicide, you never gave a warning You straight up shot him from behind But all the cryin' in the world ain't gonna bring him back You give a gat to a black he don't know how to act But you gotta tell your story to the judge Not the imitation judge, the judge that everybody loves And if the man upstairs grants you forgiveness Then in reality you took care of your business But regardless I know you wanna k** me But I ain't goin' out like dat Ya feel me? ...yeah