John Andrew (Sinima) - Bad Habits lyrics

[Verse 1:] I don't know how deep to go, but imma let it all out so come peep the show Got my first Xanny of my mate, I ain't gonna say his name It was fun at the start, I used to treat it like a game This around the time when The Nebulizer dropped I was on all types of sh**, but there's one I couldn't stop And it played with my brain, but I focused on the music I focused so much, didn't realise I abused it Never had a plan to stop, not in that prediction Going through fame, couldn't see I had addictions 1 turned to 2, turned to 3, turned to 4 then I need about 6 a day, a little bit more Mixing it with lean, gotta stop people seeing What damages can be by looking at me, sh** What to do cause I feel like a fool and I hate any rapper making Xannies look cool sh** was getting bad I was filled up with hateful Thoughts in my mind, I would argue with April Agreed I would stop, sh** I'd give it a go By the first f**ing night, felt like slitting my throat Second night, my body shaking The ambulance appear and I'm thinking in my mind, what the f** they doing here? Suddenly I'm caught up and there's no time to muck round Lucky I got here, cause my body ‘bout to shut down [Verse 2:] Back to square one, nah man you can't quit You gotta wean yourself off, that's some hard sh** What the f** man, my brain is a mess I can't remember that much, feel the pain in my legs I wish it was that easy, I could give up and go And people still got the hide to tell me pick up my phone Maybe that's my fault, I didn't speak on it much I didn't see if as a problem, I would keep it from c*nts Rates could always tell, when I couldn't pronounce certain words, brain dead Yeah should I be proud? Anxiety was k**in' me, the doctors couldn't deal with me Put me on a program cut me down on the pills and weed All scared, cause I feel on my own I told ‘em “let me chill', now they think I'm dissing them bro Waking up tired, I gotta take more pills And I didn't even wanna take ‘em, is this f**in for real? Losing touch of myself, it's like reality's false It's like I'm walking around without having a pulse It's a feeling of d**h, or like nothing is left Cause there I'm holding my chest, just put a hole in my head You see the older I get, It's getting scary as f** I'm like an eighteen in the head, I weren't aware of those d** The sh** that they cause, I talk to mirrors on walls I don't need this sh** ever, but to pills I will fall [Verse 3:] I opened up on ‘No Rest' told c*nts everything That I done ice, didn't leave out anything I quit that sh**, yeah I left it flat dead That was 5 years ago, they still think I'm a crackhead If that's what we going off, f** me dead In 5 years I'll be clean, they'll be calling me a Xanny head Funny how the world works for a paycheck Once the fame hit, I became a train wreck I wasn't sh** anyway, so why does it count? Why so many people love me? I can't figure it out But I'm telling you now, don't you follow my path Look you couldn't if you tried, cause I'm going in hard f** a poppin a pill, just to go out today How'd I end up like this? I don't know, it's a way Well I'm blaming the fame, yeah I said it before But it's enough to make me high, feel like ending it all, but I [Verse 4:] Brush it off got my fans on my side too, and my girl and my brothers And the whole crew Spilling the truth, it's like all I can do That's why I don't have time for rappers that are saying they're true When they lie to their fans, apologize in the end I never lied to mine and this is why I'm the man I tell you what I'm going through, I don't care what they think That's why I'm triple popping pills, leaning over the sink I'm almost f**in crying as I'm writing this sh** Cause of all my close ones, and the lives I affect I came from the bottom, I made it my problem Created the option, now fame has adoptin' My brain gotta stop it, insane I am not this Strange we got Scot sick, imma watch a clock tick Just f** off, I said it just f** off If I won't have my tablets I'll find a bridge to jump off f**in idiots, thinking that the sh** is cool ‘Till they dyin' in the vomit of there own drool What I meant to say? Don't do what I done I've cut down on the program, yeah I've won Repped it from the street, turned into a star then Caught a f**in habit on the xanex but the bars went Crazy and I'm just dealing with fame I just want my fans to know that I'll still be the same. I'm good