Kid were screamin', wife was b**hin' Just took the keys out of my ignition Why'd I always feel like a jerk After a hard day's work Might have a couple regrets Right now I'll take what I can get I need a television set to free my mind Television set to drown ‘em out Television set, might as well have been blind There ain't nothin' better for the down and the out There ain't nothin' better for the down and the out Smoke and mirrors, snakes and ladders You climb a few. you slide back down My head is on the pillow My heart in the basement My mind is in the gutter Girls roll around in the sand And I got the telephone in my hand Let us not forget the television set