Joel Moss - Blood In the Water lyrics

[CALLAHAN] Now when you choose a law career The moment you embark There is that joke you're bound to hear "A lawyer is a shark" Ignore that, it's simplistic and it's dumb Only some of you will turn out sharks, just some The rest... are chum Our topic is blood in the water Kids, it's time you faced Law school is a waste Oh yes, unless you acquire a taste for blood in the water Dark and red and raw You're nothing until the thrill of the k** becomes your only law Mr Schultz, hypothetical question Would you be willing to defend the following banker accused of fraud? A kind old Grandma took her savings and she sent it Off to your client, all she saved since she was born Well, he promised to invest it, but he spent it On prostitutes and h**n and p**n [AARON SCHULTZ] No, I would not want to take that case [CALLAHAN] Wrong! This one is a win unless you're lazy Grandma's broke, she'll have some hack from legal aid Put her on the stand and call her old and crazy Your guy goes free and he can get you high and laid Look for the blood in the water Read your Thomas Hobbes Only spineless snobs Will quarrel with the morally dubious jobs Yes, blood in the water Your scrupels are a flaw Ms Hoopes, hypothetical question Would you be the right lawyer for the following client? Say they offeryou a bundle for defending A famous hitman for the Mafia elite Seems he missed his chosen prey k**ed a nun and drove away Running over three cute puppies in the street [ENID HOOPES] What, you think I wouldn't defend him Just because he's a typical man? [CALLAHAN] Oh, you lesbians think you're so tough [HOOPES] (Stammers incoherently) [CALLAHAN] Oh dear, I fear my comment has offended Hard to argue, though, when you're too mad to speak Your employment will be very quickly ended When they see how your emotions make you weak So what's my point? I run a billion dollar law firm And I hire four new interns every year From this cla** I will select Four young sharks whom I respect And those four will have a guaranteed career Do you follow me? So I wanna see, what? [ENSEMBLE] Blood in the water [CALLAHAN] Exactly Let the games begin Four of you will win But just those four with a dorsal fin Yes, blood in the water So bite and scratch and claw Yes, Ms, uh? [ELLE] Woods, Elle Woods! [CALLAHAN] Someone's had their morning coffee Would you summarise the case of State of Indiana v Hearn from your reading, please? [ELLE] Oh... I wanted to answer the puppy question? [CALLAHAN] But I'm asking you about the a**igned reading [ELLE] Okay, who a**igns reading for the first day of cla**? [CALLAHAN] You have guts, Ms Woods... Ms Kensington? Let us say you teach a cla** at Harvard Law School A position that you're justly proud about But a girl on whom you call hasn't read the case at all Should you let it go or- [VIVIENNE KENSINGTON] No, I'd throw her out [CALLAHAN] Alright then You heard your cla**mate You have just been k**ed She cut your throat so grab your coat Yes, you've got guts [CALLAHAN/ENSEMBLE] But now they're spilled Your blood's in the water [ENSEMBLE] Ha ha ha ha [CALLAHAN] So would you please withdraw And if you return be ready to learn Or is that unfair? Oh, wait I don't care! That's just how I rule In life and in school With fear and shock and awe You're nothing until [ENSEMBLE] Blood in the water [CALLAHAN] The thrill of the k** [ENSEMBLE] Blood in the water [CALLAHAN] Becomes your only law [ENSEMBLE] Blood in the water [CALLAHAN] Your only law [ENSEMBLE] Blood in the water [CALLAHAN] Your only law [ENSEMBLE] Blood in the water Blood in the water