Joel Madden - Pure Poppycock lyrics

[Nigel Farage] You have the charisma of a damp rag! [Frank McGee] Damp rag! [Nigel Farage] You have the appearance of a bank clerk! [Frank McGee] Bank clerk! [Nigel Farage] Who are you? I'd never heard of you! [Frank McGee] Eat my poo! [Nigel Farage] Nobody in Europe had ever heard of you! But I have no doubt that it's your intention To be the quiet a**a**in of European democracy Perhaps that's because you come from Belgium Which of course, is pretty much a non-country We don't know you, we don't want you! The sooner you're put out to gra**, the better! We don't like you, we don't want you! [Frank McGee] Our logic and reason have proved you wrong! [Bølverk] Go back to Douchebagistan where you belong! [Frank McGee] Don't make me have to start World War III! [Bølverk] Bring it on, these guns are WMD! [Nigel Farage] We don't know you, we don't want you! We don't like you, we don't want you! [Katie Couric] Last month, comedian Bill Cosby Was surprised to read that he died [Joel Madden] How can he read if he's dead? [Katie Couric] Chief Justice John Roberts Was the last to know he resigned [Joel Madden] Maybe he should check his head [Katie Couric] All of those stories, of course are pure poppyco*k That proliferated online [Joel Madden] I do it all the time Makin' up sh** is so sublime [Katie Couric] But that of course is little solace for the reader Who simply wants to surf the web Without getting pulled under by a riptide of lies [Joel Madden] You can't protect the web from a**holes like me, shorty [Katie Couric] Truth can rip through cyberspace as quickly as lies Bloggers gnaw at new information like piranhas in a pool [Joel Madden] Don't play me for a fool You know as well as I We're both getting owned by the [Katie Couric & Joel Madden] Rip-riptide of lies Pulled under by a rip-riptide of lies [Katie Couric] Pure poppyco*k [Joel Madden] Pure poppyco*k [Katie Couric & Joel Madden] I want to surf, surf the web Without getting pulled under By a rip-riptide of lies, lies, lies [Glenn Beck] You hit on a guy at a wedding [Eric Ma**a] I-I so- [Glenn Beck] Explain that one first [Eric Ma**a] Okay, so we're at a wedding, New Year's Eve Everyone had too much to drink There were 300 people there I went with a bridesmaid, danced with her I grabbed a bachelor Now they're sayin' I groped a male staffer! Yeah, I did! [Glenn Beck] Um [Eric Ma**a] Yeah, yeah, yeah [Evan & Andrew Gregory] A manly back-rub Just a back rub! [Eric Ma**a] We all live together All the bachelors and me [Evan & Andrew Gregory] Naked in the tub [Eric Ma**a] You can take anything out of context [Evan & Andrew Gregory] Huggin'! [Eric Ma**a] You can take anything out of context [Evan & Andrew Gregory] Scrubbin'! [Eric Ma**a] You can take anything out of context [Evan & Andrew Gregory] Rubbin' and humpin! [Eric Ma**a] Yeah! [Evan & Andrew Gregory] Ticklin' and jumpin'! [Eric Ma**a] Yeah, yeah! I tickled him 'till he couldn't breathe Then four guys jumped on me It's my 50th birthday [Glenn Beck] Whether you're telling the truth or not An avalanche is coming your way An avalanche of lies [Sarah Gregory] Pulled under by an avalanche of lies [Katie Couric] Pure poppyco*k [Joel Madden] Pure poppyco*k [Glenn Beck] Whether you're telling the truth or not [Sarah Gregory] You're guaranteed to get caught [Glenn Beck & Sarah Gregory] In an avalanche of lies [Michael Gregory] Ma**a staffers! Droppin' a St. Bernard of truth But we already drank the brandy My boss tickles me like a true G He straddles me so masculine No stoppin' when I'm askin' him When he cootchie-coo my armpits, I'm a goner Tryna pretend that I don't notice his bo*er! Tryna distract him with headlines from China He just drop his drawers and pull out his vagina! [Outro] Autotune the news Autotune the news Everything sounds better autotune- [Glenn Beck] I think this is the first time I have wasted your time And I apologize for that [Evan Gregory] Whenever you hear the boss swaggerin' down the hall You know he gonna drop a double cup on your tennis balls [Michael Gregory] You have to be a soldier, a real man To soothe a male staffer with the stroke from a tender hand [Evan Gregory] Ain't nothin' wrong with a Ma**a ma**age When you're in a chronic platonic quintuple menage [Michael Gregory] The entourage gripped in a bear hug that they can't escape Tryna pretend they don't notice when he ejacu- [Andrew Gregory] Hey, hey! Over the line [Michael Gregory] Which part?