Joe Enormous - Fapping lyrics

[Verse 1] Mom gets home, she closes the door She sees something bad, sees it on the floor So she tastes it and she gets a bad feeling It's all over the floor, the walls, and the ceiling So she marches upstairs and walks into my room She says, "Clean this up," and she hands me a broom She asks, "What is this?" and I say, "Don't play dumb," "Don't you know, Mom, that this is all my cum?" [Hook] Cause I'm fapping, on the door you're tapping You think I'm napping, I'm really jacking off I keep tissues in my room but I don't have a cough Cause all I really want to do is jack off [Verse 2] All I do is look at p**n I've been jerking off since the day I was born I like blonde girls, big girls, black girls, white girls I like all girls, I even like baby girls Never do my homework, I'm failing geography The only thing I do is watch child p**nography [Hook] Cause I'm fapping, on the door you're tapping You think I'm napping, I'm really jacking off I keep tissues in my room but I don't have a cough Cause all I really want to do is jack off [Verse 3] Someone s** my radioactive balls If you need s**ual favors, you know who to call Put me on speed-dial, #69 I'm looking for my dick, it's so hard to find I'm talking 'bout f**ing, I'm thinking 'bout f**ing I went to school for professional trucking Jerking off is smelling and f**ing is tasting I spent eighteen hours today playing Crash Team Racing If you're old enough to read, my dick she doesn't need I shouldn't be a babysitter, I forget to feed If she's old enough to walk, if she's old enough to talk She's way too old for my big-a** co*k If I don't masturbate someone dies I like to cum in yo' mama's pies Sometimes I wish that my dad was dead So finally my mom could give me head My dentist has hair on the tip of his dick He puts it in my mouth then he gets sick The moral of the story is "Let me f** you" "Let me fill your a** with glue" [Hook] Cause I'm fapping, on the door you're tapping You think I'm napping, I'm really jacking off I keep tissues in my room but I don't have a cough Cause all I really want to do is jack off (x3) [Aside] I really hope no one is home right now, I'm yelling really loud