Jock Cheese - Friday Night Shakespeare lyrics

If music be the food of love Then rejection's food is canned Heated through it's a lonely stew In your only clean saucepan The flat's in need of sweeping But the ad break's nearly done "Two team's struggling for respect tonight" says Sandy Robertson The footy's let me down again Stole my love away from them Family's got to mean more than a team Like everything the tele's smaller Than the one at home But without the wife and kids, it means The remote control's your own Then at the bounce down, with Your eyes still on the screen You listen as sons voice comes On your answering machine "Hello Dad" he stumbles out With his confidence affray Can we come and see you next weekend Mum said it was okay Someone somewhere should coin a term For the guilt that does befall Who hears the answering machine Then don't pick up the call The interchages have been made: The soup is on your knee The telephone is god knows where Aargh! the mongrels got a free There's a tone after he hangs up And a click as it expires If music be the food of love "Play on!" says the umpire