Jim Gaffigan - Camping lyrics

I went camping recently for this next joke I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call "indoorsie" I am surprised that we can still get people to camp Hey want to burn a couple of vacantion days sleeping on the ground outside? Uh no! What if I told you you get to crap standing up in the woods? I still wouldn't want to go You wake up freezing and covered in a rash Okay I'll go My wife always brings up that campings a tradition in my family Hey, it was a tradition in everybodies family until we came up with the house My parents never took me camping, and you know why? Because they loved me It will get you closer to nature I would like to keep the relationship perfesional If it's so great outside, then why are all of the bugs trying to get in my house? Some places you have to pay to camp, you have to pay to sleep outside That's got to be insulting to the homeless people How much does this cost you? I live out here! That must be really expensive Occasionally at the campsite you'll see the winabego That's kind of cheating, isin't it? Oh that's what I forgot, my house But there's always that couple at the campsite that has been camping for way too long They have the folding chairs, the christmas lights in July We would love to have you for dinner I'm sure you would Now how do I get a padlock on my tent so we're not eaten my mod pod dalmer? Happy camper! Has anyone ever really been a happy camper? When ever we use that term were being sarcastic He is not a happy camper Why don't we just call him a camper?