Twenty-Fourteen, what a year Let's reminisce and raise a gla** Here's to priceless memories Like me and my colossal a**! The rise of ISIS caused a crisis Russia made big power play We ma**acred the Democrats But who needs Congress anyway? Ferguson blazed up with rage We trembled as Ebola spread We smoked some legal reefer And we dumped ice buckets on our heads! On birth control, we all said no! We canceled every Cosby Show! In 2014, Leno left I said "Goodbye, Colbert Report!" I was all about that ba** I wasn't famous anymore Scandal rocked the NFL We tied the knot; we called it quits Justin Bieber got arrested Jay Z had his greatest hits! Outer space was cool and trendy Someone hacked our private nudes! Pharell was happy, Al was Weird And Marvel's Thor was growing b**bs! We said "So long, it's sad we're gone" But my poetry's forever! And our comedy lives on! Everybody! World Cup soccer, Anaconda, iPhone 6, Malaysia Air Potato salad, Gamergate, and data breaches everywhere! More and more, the list goes on The year was crazy as could be Let's all rejoice in saying: 2014, You Are History!