Jerry Reed - The Uptown Poker Club lyrics

Well now Bill Jackson went to poor ol' Dub To join the Uptown Poker Club And he cursed the day he ever told anybody he joined Cause his money used to go like it had wings When he had queens somebody else had kings And every night he'd just sit there donatin' all his coins He said boys now I'm gonna play it right tonight I'm gonna watch them cards and I'm gonna play 'em tight And then when I come in there son my hand's gonna be a peach Well he played 'em tight but after awhile He done lost his self a considerable pile So he got mad he stood up and he made this little speech Now boys you see this razor well I had it sharpened just today Now I'm comin' in here with my rules that everybody gonna follow when they play Now you Clyde you keep your hands on top of the table when you're dealing please Quit takin' them little wild cards and stickin' em down there between your knees And Jesse quit makin' all them funny signs like you tryin' to tip off your hand You better talk to me in American son American so's I can understand And Leroy quit takin' em offa the bottom ooh that's rough Just take five off the top then stop that's enough Then pa** me them cards son let me cut on them things every time before you deal I like to handle them things boy I like to see Cause I got news for you lad you ain't playin' this game accordin' that fella Hoyle there Uh uh no tonight you're playin' this game accordin' to me Well now a sittin' around the table in that there game There just happened to be this ol' one-eyed man And Bill kept watchin' him out of the corner of his eye This old one-eyed cat he'd been dealin' kinda funny He done took a whole bunch of big Bill's money So Bill rose up and he looked around the room and with a sigh He said hmm said it's an awful shame Said there's somebody cheatin' in this here game Said of course it ain't gonna do for me to stand up here and mention the guy So I'll refrain from calling that party's name But you let me catch him cheatin' just once again And I'm gonna take my fist and I’m gonna close that other eye Now you see this razor well I had it sharpened just today Now I'm comin' in here with my rules that everybody must follow when they play Now Clyde you keep them bony hands up here on top of the table when you're dealin' please Don't go takin' them little wild aces stickin' em off down there between your knees And Jesse cut out makin' all them monkey signs you still tryin' to tip off your hand You better talk to me in American big AA so's I can understand And Leroy quit takin' em off the bottom of the deck son I tell ya that's rough This is an army game son take five then halt that's enough Then pa** me them face cards over here let me cut them things every time before you deal Cause I like to delve in there son I got to see Cause I got news for you boys you ain't playin this game accordin' to that fella Hoyle there Uh uh tonight you're playin' this game accordin' to me Now then seein' as how you all know that I didn't ride in here on a head of cabbage Henry if you'll break out another deck of them Bicycles me and the boys will get on with the business But keep your eye on that fella wearin' the patch he holds them cards kinda funny Ha ha if he ain't careful somebody around this table liable to jack his jaw Ha ha ha ah son I feel like my luck just changed