Jerry Reed - Coin Machine lyrics

Now I'm not one to get all excited I'm seldom tense and I'm never uptight But there's one thing in this world that really makes me upset Now that's them coin machines them nickel and dimers Them out of order and them work one-timers Those nickel an dime quarter grubbing monsters I mean how many times have you had the munchies So you whip out a dime for some peanut crunchies You put it in the slot and you pull the handle and then just nothin' So you cuss and you beat it till your hand is blue And you push and shove and kick it with your shoe And finally just walk away while it's blinking thank you Which is machine talk for we just stuck it to you SON I'd like to meet the man who invented the coin machine He must have hated mankind and every other living thing I'll bet he had a motto on his wall in prose and rhyme Sayin' you get nothin' for a nickel twice as much for a dime Well they'll offer you cigarettes soft drinks cigars Barbecue potato chips and all kinda candy bars Peanuts popcorn cracker jacks and red hots And you can pay a quarter for a nickel comb Get a throw away razor and a shot of cologne Get a bad shoeshine that even polishes your socks But I think the worst of those you see with the gla** Where you can see what you want but you can bet Your donkey there ain't no way short of a blow torch You gonna get nothin' outta there Then how 'bout those on the men's room wall Boys you know what I mean you have seen 'em all When you lose six bits in one of them boogers You're just too embarra**ed to complain So you just kinda go home by yourself I'd like to meet the man who invented the coin machine... Now I heard this story about a fella one time Who certainly is a hero of mine He ranks right up there with John Wayne urt Reynolds and Merle Haggard Seems there was this certain soft drink machine It was rusty and old cantankerous and mean And it took him for one too many quarters and his mind snapped So he went out to his his car and looked up under the seat And he whipped out a .45 clean and neat He walked up to that machine and said hand it over son it's your last chance Then he plugged that thing about three or four times Right up under that blinkin' have a Coke sign Then it just coughed and spit up four hundred dollars worth of quarters and died The judge called it self defense I'd like to meet the man who invented the coin machine...