Jefferson Mays - I Don't Understand the Poor lyrics

LORD ADALBERT: (spoken) I say, you there! Hands off that sword! Put down that book! Isn't enough we let you look? I hate to dash your futile little hopes But you pay your sixpence And stay behind the ropes! I cringe when every cobbler Or butcher or farmer Comes touching my banisters Banging my armour They finger every finier They poke your cornerstone Who'd want to be reminded Of what they'll never own? Though my politics are purely democratical I find the species frankly problematical I don't understand the poor I don't understand the poor The lives they lead Of want and need I should think it would be a bore It seems to be nothing but stubbornness Oh, what's all the suffering for? To be so debased Is in terrible taste I don't understand the poor ANCESTRAL PORTRAITS: To be so debased Is in terrible taste I don't understand the poor (To summarize and heretofore He does not understand the poor) LORD ADALBERT: I don't understand the poor And they're constantly turning out more Every festering slum In Christendom Is disgorging its young by the score I suppose there are some with ambition Say, the pickpocket, beggar, or who*e From what I can tell They do quite well They're rising above And it's work they love But I don't understand the poor ANCESTRAL PORTRAITS: They're rising above And it's work they love But I don't understand the poor LORD ADALBERT: Where's the dignity? ANCESTRAL PORTRAITS: Where's the dignity? LORD ADALBERT: Where's the pride? ANCESTRAL PORTRAITS: Where's the pride? LORD ADALBERT: The ignominity! ANCESTRAL PORTRAITS: Ignominity...? LORD ADALBERT: Putting the lame and the halt aside Why accept charity? I am perplexed by their attitude I contend we extend them Too much latitude My tenants have no excuse At Christmas I give them a goose! Where's the integrity? Where's the gratitude? I don't understand the poor How I long for the days of yore When nary a va**al Stepped into your castle They knew not to darken your door Now they barge in every Tuesday With a sickening thickening roar Why clatter and trample? Set an example! We teach them to read But do they succeed? When they're hungry and frail We feed them in jail We send them off to war I don't understand- I'm not being grand! I don't understand the poor! ANCESTRAL PORTRAITS: I don't understand- I'm not being grand! LORD ADALBERT & PORTRAITS: I don't understand the- LORD ADALBERT: Though there's one I admit I adore He's missing a leg But a very good egg A gentleman through to the core He may be a bit of a drinker He can often be found on the floor Through all of his pains He never complains He's bright and astute A shame that he's mute According to mother He may be my brother A fact we all choose to ignore But I don't understand- I'm sensitive and I don't understand the poor! ANCESTRAL PORTRAITS: I don't understand- I'm sensitive and I don't understand- LORD ADALBERT: They're a pox on the land! ANCESTRAL PORTRAITS: I don't understand! LORD ADALBERT: I don't understand LORD ADALBERT & PORTRAITS: I don't understand the poor! LORD ADALBERT: (spoken) Really, I don't!