Jeff Ward - The Power of Lard lyrics

[Intro] Lard, you can see it in the clouds up in the sky Lard floats by in clusters in our water supply Lard, it's all of us, man, in our pores and in our hair Lard's what we conceal in those corny clothes we wear Lard is all Lard is divine Lard is in control Lard whips and chains our soul We carry credit cards We live in fear of art Lard is the om Lard is revolution Lard is the tapeworm in the bottle of cheap tequila That comes alive at night and sneaks up and bites your nipple Lard [Verse 1] Nowadays, most of us need someone to run our personal life Someone to see that the plants are watered Someone to make sure the place is clean Someone to make sure dinner is waiting Someone to call for theater tickets Someone to make up those cheap excuses What we need is lard Lard [Interlude] The answer The dancer The ointment The dream Absorb it Inflame it Respect it Molest it Lard [Verse 2] The country right now, it wants to be soothed And told it doesn't have to pay or sacrifice or learn No one is over the hill when the mountain comes to Muhammad [Pre-Chorus] We love to eat, we love to pray Mold over mind, hooray! [Chorus] The power of lard [Verse 3] Every time I take a crap, it's a cosmic experience Religion and chemicals are the key to the future Next time we have s**, just pretend that I'm Ed Meese The weasels have it down, man, it's a whole new age [Interlude] Which would you prefer, a computer or a gun? The sharks outlived the dinosaurs, you know [Chorus] [Verse 4] Pity the poor trainer in the stable when the racehorse farts Poison oak really is the aphrodisiac of the gods When people are asleep, we must all become alarm clocks Hey, man, life is my college [Interlude] It's dental floss of the mind Who will babysit the babysitters? [Verse 5] Ever hear about the guy in New York whose dick Fell off in the bath after he shot it full of coke? It's okay to run out of bu*ter in Zambia Just smear squashed caterpillars on your toast Waiter, there's a terrorist in my soup Which came first, Max Headroom or Gerald Ford? Are you a man or are you a mouse? If you love your fun, die for it! [Chorus] [Outro] Who's gonna babysit the babysitters The power of lard Avoid everything Everything The power of lard Lard! Lard! Lard! Lard!