[Verse: Captain Beefheart] Pappy with the Khaki sweatband Bowed goat potbellied barnyard That only he noticed, the old fart was smart The old gold cloth Madonna Dancin' to the fiddle and saw He ran down behind the knoll And slipped on his wooden fishhead The mouth worked and snapped All the bees back to the bungalow Momma was flattening lard With her red enamel rollin' pin When the fishhead broke the window Rubber eye erect and precisely detailed Airholes from which breath should come Is now closely fit With the chatter of the old fart inside An a**ortment of observations took place Momma licked her lips like a cat Pecked the ground like a rooster Pivoted like a duck Her stockings down caught dust and doughballs She cracked her mouth glaze, caught one eyelash Rubbed her hands on her gorgeous gingham Her hands grasped sticky metal intricate latchwork Open to the room, uh Smell cold mixed with bologna Rubber bands crumpled wax paper bonnets Fat goose legs and special jellies Ignited by the warmth of the room The old fart smelled this Through his important breather holes Cleverly he dialed from within From the outside we observed That the nose of the wooden mask Where the holes had just been a moment ago Was now smooth amazingly blended, camouflaged in With the very intricate rainbow trout replica The old fart inside was now breathin' freely From his perfume bottle atomizer air bulb invention His excited eyes from within the dark interior glazed Watered in appreciation of his thoughtful preparation [Outro: Jeff Cotton] Uh man, it's so heavy