Jedi Mind Tricks - Black Winter Day (Ruff Life Remix) lyrics

Torn apart now I cannot have this combination And fusion, of your elixir Torn apart now These are the choices we made Do I follow or walk away Yeah, most of my adult life I've been torn into two If you love me, then I love you and this song is for you It's tight hard when you know that your sick And your shorty seein' you as an emotional wreck The closer I get, it's like the farther I feel And my heart has turned into this heavy armour and steel It's hard to be real, hard to listen to the dumb sh** And I take a lot of pills 'cause it numbs sh** I wish I had another path to follow Wish that I could be a man and learn to pa** the bottle A graphic novel, my future a box or an urn Havin' dreams about d**h, but I'm not that concerned And I'm diseased, through the seasons they turn Watchin' leaves from the trees turn disease and they burn I'm eager to learn, but I'm holdin' my breath And everyday alive is just another closer to d**h Torn apart now I cannot have this combination And fusion, of your elixir Torn apart now These are the choices we made Do I follow or walk away Yeah, I've been alive longer then I expected to be And took care of everything that's expected of me Took care of my girl and my mother I told her that I'm always here and I love her I handle sh** differently 'cause I'm grown now And the truth is that I'd rather be alone now I'd rather not have to deal with the day And I hate when people ask me how I'm feelin' today My brother Rasul, we had a beef and grudge But we grew up together, cousin, so it's peace and love I wish all the best, I wish all the shine I wish I didn't wanna offer my thoughts with a nine I'm thoughtful and kind, but I'm evil alas But everything I love has turned to a tedious task I feel that life a waiting game for people to pa** But nobody ever want you to see through the mask Torn apart now I cannot have this combination And fusion, of your elixir Torn apart now These are the choices we made Do I follow or walk away Yeah, I don't wanna be a burden to y'all I just wanna know exactly what my purpose is for I feel like nothin' I do is ever right And that I'm actin' a fool another night And I admit, I don't take care of myself So I do a lot of thinkin' and preparing myself 'Cause the fact is my father died young and I might, too And it ain't any way to tell what I might do I don't wanna leave my mother behind I don't want for her to cry, because the struggle is mine I don't want for her to grind no more I don't want for her to work a 9-to-5 no more I ain't have to work a f**in' 9-to-5 before So I'm tryin' to get this money to provide for y'all And if the sh** ain't work out and I'm suddenly gone Just remember that the motherf**in' love isn't gone Pazman Torn apart now I cannot have this combination And fusion, of your elixir Torn apart now These are the choices we made Do I follow or walk away