Jed Whedon - Better than Neil lyrics

Hey Ladies Sit down, relax I got a story to tell… Every night I lie awake With sorrow in my chest I think of NPH and wonder Is he getting rest? Does he know each second He's only second best? Tossing in his bed What's he wearing? Dread? I'm better Better than Neil In so many ways It's almost unreal Oh sure he can sing And piggies can squeal It's not a big deal I'm better So he was out on Broadway While I was on the soaps Who's got the high score On “Ninja Ropes” Who's got a bullet-proof Car like the Pope's? Look at Neil mackin' So sad he's so lackin' He makes seven figures And get Emmy nods I make seven layer Bean dip of the gods I'm also in Halo 3 What are the odds? Now my ears are ringin' ‘Cause all the girls are singin' I'm better Better than Neil At so many things It's hard to conceal Oh sure he does magic Magic's not real How dumb do you feel? I'm better than Neil Neil played a kid doctor So did I, dude But I was much younger And totally nude Neil kept that white coat on Great, Doctor Prude Look there Felicia goes Another deal you couldn't close, yeah I wink at a woman She needs a drink – Stat! She knows I get everything I'm aiming at Except for the Pope car I lied about that At least I'm not prone To singing alone Look at his smallness Compared to my tallness My porcelain doll-ness My port-in-a-squallness My kids-in-the-Hallness My Pink-Floyd's – “The-Wall”ness My three parts of gaulness My just all-in-allness My wonderful me-ness My hammer – the people can tell That I'm awfully swell While Neil has a weird smell I'm just saying: Purell I'm better Better than Neil At – where do I start? Romantic appeal We both went for Penny And who copped a feel? The true man of steel I'm better than Neil Yeah yeah yeah I'm better than Neil Just jumped off a moving Automobile He plays with his phone While tires they squeal It's my scene to steal I'm better than Neil It's me, I'm better than Neil