Jazz One - Open Vents lyrics

[Verse] I've suffered more than I learned Coughed up a lot more than I earned Did not pay attention to what warrants concern Head first through the wall when some problems converged I try to change, but still get judged for past deeds Wondering if they want replies to what they ask me It's funny how people who you think should know you Show you they don't when they try to console you I never trust a first impression Every makeup wears off, every fragrance is lost Every kind word is not always imbued with honesty That is why I don't mind bluntness if you talk to me I see, people put form over function I see them avoid facts, but not a**umptions Warm welcomings turn to cold goodbyes But what you see me wiping there is just the cold in my eyes I'm expected to have time if you call to go out But when I'm trying to see you, you can't make it at all Weird patterns, you tell me the meaning Practicing cold readings won't prevent long evenings from being So lonesome, all my life I've been marching To my own drum, various times where I had no drum Couldn't hear what the world tried to tell me Were they words of encouragement or meant to derail me? I'll never know, unlike the fact that I'm discordant Views meet resistance like the Jordan Rules Like the one of being cool, I was never in accord with Authority I fought it, never blindly followed orders Family wasn't supportive, judgmental but they ignored Whatever I had to say and till this day the rift's enormous I have not a single thing, to tell my father Or my mother 'bout the dreams that I harbour Mature women tell me I'm handsome but that is meaningless When women get to know me they most likely keep a distance Tell me all about the beautiful women that they would love to see me with Talking 'bout I deserve better, what they mean is "earn cheddar" The only people I relate to, they are miles from me And they are happiest when they don't hear a rhyme from me So often I wonder if this is all designed for me Cause I cannot even figure out who I'm trying to be...