Sup up your beer and collect your f*gs There's a row going on down near slough Get out your mat and pray to the west I'll get out mine and pray for myself Thought you were smart when you took them on But you didn't take a peep in their artillery room All that rugby puts hairs on your chest What chance have you got against a tie and a crest? Hello-hurrah, what a nice day, for the Eton rifles Hello-hurrah, I hope rain stops play, with the Eton rifles Thought you were clever when you lit the fuse Tore down the house of commons in your brand new shoes Compose a revolutionary symphony Then went to bed with a charming young thing Hello-hurrah, cheers then mate, its the Eton rifles Hello-hurrah, an extremist scrape, with the Eton rifles What a catalyst you turned out to be Loaded the guns then you run off home for your tea Left me standing, like a guilty (naughty) schoolboy We came out of it naturally the worst Beaten and bloody and I was sick down my shirt We were no match for their untamed wit Though some of the lads said they'll be back next week Hello-hurrah, there's a price to pay, to the Eton rifles Hello-hurrah, I'd prefer the plague, to the Eton rifles Hello-hurrah, there's a price to pay, to the Eton rifles Hello-hurrah, I'd prefer the plague, to the Eton rifles