Jak Tripper - Cold Sweat lyrics

(I felt myself sagging under what was much stronger than I. First I could not use my ankles, and then I could not control my knees, and then my waist began to break under the strain, and then my shoulders turned in, and in the end I was compacted and fetal, depleted by this thing that was crushing me without holding me.) [an excerpt from Andrew Solomon when interviewed and asked to describe depression to those not afflicted] (And I do this cause your so happy.) I bleach rainbows with hopelessness, at shows fixed tourniquet tight flows and a coke syringe, and close the sh** Quieter than a folded flag out the box when I broke the skin My lines water birthed in a church blessed by me It can't be studied by any rap scholar in NYC How could the city forgive a wretch like me I f** with minds like Senates for cognitive neuroscience at MIT My origin's not on OED, these cyber geeks, I'm just a junkie in a petticoat You can smell me broke, surviving off Little Debbie and jelly rolls I carry tranquilizers like Laos platoon sleeping at telescol I've done sh** to my flesh to make your belly fold And stayed in the subways for transport and dodging a bright sun Spikes plunge, lean up against tiled wall, slide down and write one Pull out the blunt contaminated and light one Walk into hospitals losing blood and sliced up I'll murder the hobby horse, oxy snort, hair gel spikes in front of clubs forming posse dorks I kamikaze doors til I pa** out on the Euro rocky floor like opium den smokers and poppy stores Pin pricks, razors slid and slit wrists Soak bandages in syringe tips drip, seven day binges Nerves switching, neurosis symptoms, muscles stiffen, skin itching, scratch to the bone, sinking fingertips in Self inflicted, kitchen fix kits; needles, spoons, powder and kindling Spinning head, exorcism, detox, spitting phlegm color of spinach Remeron, Sinequan, then I'm gone to the magical land of sick in bed Skin is sticky sweat, can't kick the meth, feel like I was kicked to d**h Succubus sit by my bed side, I can't lift my chest Met a girl her name was popular, she came with scars, A-list, pain involved Year 2000 basement stars Flood this genetic roulette with catapulted me into a velvet rope Shangri-La Blatant snobs backpacking notepads with written freestyles and microphones taped to palm, blaming gods Wish I was dead (why), first pull personal Shotgun journal bursts skulls to sludge fertile, adrift I sit plural Eating cancer asleep, euthanasia through spine epidural Splatter mind on mural, thoughts drip down to ground in a mound of manure pools I'll leave you beside yourself, you're left on my right like two lefties writing facing each other in the reflection of a knife My darling, cut my arms deep enough to reveal the arteries' grape juice Tell me I hate you in the mirror with me siphoning your wounds from mine, to sustain you Life got boring, my own image in a gla** was pain fuel Blankets over blinds in a gray room, stitched up and painful Sipped red wine in which the same color the green veins shoot Took pills and came too, I'm invisible No way to leave this planet, I walk it fatal Study my life and compare to when I stabbed myself in the stomach to die slowly in my own blood Playing with it, with my index finger drawing hearts to show love Slit wrists, slip in a warm bath, lock the door and doze off Too late for hindsight, drifting away from the white light Looking at my body on my right side, died with the spike hanging from a pipeline I sit in a den and typewrite, living dead night Geiger, street fighter and high-time My eyes sulk deep in a cheek bone scraping residue I'm like a Czech hippy, dissident tribal poet heavy dude Murder San Francisco like the I-580 k**er waiting for priest to okay and execute Destitute of sanity, paid venues, I pa** out on stage, let them boo Rap's corny, but I'm bored so I'm still selling legs in boots When I get headaches the pressure can stir up dirt on a crescent moon I'm saving my Paxil, Prozac, Trazodone, Endepricol and Celexa too Then digest after morning meeting, drop dead the color of nice weather blue Celebra and culture out the closet I circle the globe like a blimp carrying heavily vomit See lung, heavy sludge of ice under fog lift A zinger spit oxymoronic cold comfort farm, weight cosmic Smash mouth topics, Dow Jones melt down your album's stock drip There's an ozone hole in my thinking, poison the airwaves Wait I get like no airplay, unless pseudo Europeans supported my Harry Potter rise '99 It took me 21 seconds to tear space and fold time Evolved in '05, quiet with no outside influence to hold mine Wait for underground to nosedive, keep the goldmine I'll sell other tenants for me to spit Better than you, and boast mine Punk creative, my juices flow like my climax after they pole ride f** a biter victim, I call a ghost write Thanks for the room and board, take my earliest demos and hold mine f**ing bovine stock, cattle feed Paul White Trash and battle geeks, simpletons, gas yourself, I'll hit the stove light And support your glow for the five people that just show live My dick bigger than your whole life In the south for the winter, four months I wrote this before I got my phone time Valhalla ghost, peace to the basketball court m**ms, Westchester throw signs Gained weight, hit the TC and bench, putting in work the whole time That's it, that's it. The end