Jahcoozi - Asian Bride Magazine lyrics

I opened up a copy Asian Bride Magazine The lady inside was so white, was so clean The hairs on her arms could hardly be seen Thanks to L'Oreal's skin and hair lightening cream If I bleached my skin and if I shaved my arms, I still wouldn't look like no light-skinned Khan And as my dad used to say to my face "Aiyoh, Sasha, you look like an African" Was that just because of my baggy jeans? Or just because as I'd say "Dad, must be in the genes"? Or is it coz I'm tall and they're all so small That I'd get called n***a by Pakis hanging at the mall? Doctor, lawyer, dentist if you fail-- Who's gonna care for you when you become frail? Harvard, Berkeley, North London and Yale Get an education, marry someone pale! Pale, fair-- but not white A man who's at least a half of your height Asian, yeah, but better not be dark Those deep dark browns only bring on the frowns Brown on the outside, white on the inside You're just a coconut they turned into a bounty Brown on the outside, white on the inside You're just a paki, but you're cool on the flipside Brown on the outside, white on the inside You're just a coconut they turned into a bounty Brown on the outside, white on the inside You stink of curry, but you're cool on the flipside They don't wanna see you coming home with white man They don't wanna see you coming home with black man They don't wanna see you coming home with any kind of man But if you came home with a woman, they wouldn't be your biggest fan They just wanna see you hitched up with one of the clan If you put your wealth together then you'll be much richer than The Patels round the corner and the Ratnasinghams "Anay baba get a job or you'll never find a man!" No I ain't Mingita, the p**y-eating paki-- I just don't give a sh** about getting married Just coz I don't shave my moustache, my eyebrows join together and my nose is large You lot think I'm unfit for marriage that all I can cook is frozen chicken nuggets That my life in the trailer park is somewhat savage And my mates are a bunch of dreaded homeless f*ggets Thank you, L'Oreal now there's products for us Daily use gonna help us to pretend that we're high-caste Bleach our skin, lighten our moustache Now L'Oreal are coming in on the march You know that they can smell the cash to be made On vain middle-cla** Asians who just love to bathe Arty-farty, you will become poor Eat, baba, eat in the kitchen there is more Degree, degree, hang it on the wall Brought you to this country, what happened to y'all?! Hymen, hymen, it better be intact Pappadum preach now I'm frying in the fat Achar, achar, hymen is intact I never used a tampon-- really that's a fact