I've got a paycheck in my front pocket, A speeding ticket in my back pocket, If I even things out, I might have enough to get drunk. I've got a phone number, stuffed in my wallet, I know I shouldn't do it but I think I'm gonna call it, And if I get nuthin', that's fine, 'cause nuthin's what I got. Brains, brains, you can't k** a zombie with a wooden stake. Brains, brains, any one could make the same mistake, So go easy on the girl. I just wanted what every pirate wants, I got some booty now I'll never get enough, I just wanted, I just wanted . . . . To sail, to pillage, So pa** the rum and draw your swords, Let's burn down, the village, Then we'll grab their boards and surf their girls away... I've got a picture of a mermaid, hidden in a box, A dollar fifty six and a dirty pair of socks, An 'X' on the map, if I don't come back, Here's where you'll find me. Brains, brains . . .