I got a friend I can sometimes go to when I feel alone She sympathizes and agonizes And she lays me out cold She lays me out here stoned and cold And let me introduce you all to a Rent A Friend indeed She's an awful heavier woman, with an awful healthy need She knows when to take you, treat you as her own She lays on you the post and then cut that, you can call your own And I don't think that I belong here I seem to remember this before It's like charging out the door on a sunny afternoon Found out it's raining after all I got a friend I can sometimes go to when I feel alone She sympathizes and agonizes And she lays me out cold She lays me out here stoned and cold I don't think that I belong here, I seem to recall I've been through this so many times I'm familiar with it all It's like charging out the door on a sunny afternoon Found out it's raining after all And here I go again I think I'll stand out here again, wait in the rain Such a shame when your ole head is full And there ain't no way to empty it all out again She's a stone and make you sad Such a bad time to go then She's just going to make you She's just going to make you And let me introduce you all to a Rent A Friend indeed