Ivor Biggun - The Winkers Song (Misprint) lyrics

My mother said That I never should Play with the naughty rude girls in the wood Their giggling talk I could never understand And that's why I fell in love with my right hand And that's why (Chorus) I'm a wa*ker I'm a wa*ker And it does me good like it bloody well should I'm a wa*ker I'm a wa*ker And I'm always pulling my pud I was twenty five years old before I was kissed And then I found that I preferred a swift one off the wrist It's cheap and convenient You can't catch VD It's available at any time And it's absolutely free And that's why (Chorus) Oh Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters Thank you for having me and being oh so kind I've got pains in my arms And my dong is growing shorter My knees have turned to water And I think I'm going blind I've wa*ked over Italy I've wa*ked over Spain I've wa*ked in an omnibus I've even had a wa*k in a train I've used a badger and a melon and a cat An inflatable Linda Lovelace and a Davy Crocket hat And that's why (Chorus) 'Ere listen! Oh Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters Thank you for having me and being oh so kind I've got pains in my arms And my dong is getting shorter My knees have turned to water And I think I'm going blind (Chorus x6) I'm a wa*ker! I'm a wa*ker! It does me good! I'm a wa*ker! I'm always pulling me pud! I'm a wa*ker! I'm a wa*ker!