Irving Berlin - The Near Future lyrics

[Man:] How dry I am, how dry I am It's plain to see just why I am No alcohol in my highball And that is why so dry I am Waiter, Waiter [Waiter:] What do you want? What do you want? [Man:] I'm just as thirsty as can be [Waiter:] What'll you have? What'll you have? [Man:] Suggest a little drink for me [Waiter:] Of the very finest soft drinks we have all the best [Man:] I don't know a thing about them What would you suggest? [Waiter:] Have a little Coca-Cola Really, it's a lovely drink Percy, Clarence, Reginald, too They will recommend it to you Have a little Coca-Cola It's the very best I think It isn't alcoholic but you can have a frolic If you take enough to drink [Man:] They are much too dry [Waiter:] Then how'd you like to try Sarsaparilla, try sarsaparilla Sarsaparilla ought to do Rockefeller drinks sarsaparilla And what's good enough for Rockefeller Is good enough for you [Man:] Go and tell John D His drink won't do for me [Waiter:] Then have a little gla** of grape juice It's the only drink to buy Really, it's fine, simply divine It's recommended by William J. Bryan Eve'rybody's drinking grape juice Ever since the town went dry I've heard them tell, sir That grape juice and seltzer Is just the little drink to try [Man:] That won't do, I'm afraid [Waiter:] Then try some lemonade A little lemon, a little sugar A little vichy and a straw Makes the very nicest little drink you ever saw You ought to buy one, come on and try one For it's the finest drink that's made Drinks like this'll wet your whistle Have a gla** of lemonade [Man:] That won't do I fear I'd like a gla** of beer [Waiter:] Then have some Bevo Have a drink of Bevo It's the grandest imitation that we know If you care for beer, it's the drink you should pick It tastes like lager but it hasn't got the kick [Bevo Girl:] Bevo, have a drink of Bevo Though it hasn't got a punch up it's sleeve-o [Waiter:] Those who drink it insist that a Christian Scientist Could easily come staggering home on Bevo [Man:] How dry I am, how dry I am It's plain to see just why I am Oh, how I call for alcohol And that is why so dry I am [The Spirit of Alcohol:] I hear you calling me I am the Spirit of Alcohol For let me a**ure you one and all I'm not dead, I'm only asleep Some day I'll come back to you [Chorus:] We hope you do, we hope you do [The Spirit of Alcohol:] When your laws are not so blue [Chorus:] We hope you do, we hope you do [The Spirit of Alcohol:] When you give Prohibition your shoe [Chorus:] You bet your life we'll kick it Because it's very wicked [The Spirit of Alcohol:] Say to Mister Temperance you're through [Chorus:] That's what we'll do, that's what we'll do [The Spirit of Alcohol:] I'll come back someday With a hip, hip hooray Until I do, I'll give to you A little co*ktail that is new