IPΛT - Real Talk (Kickstarter) lyrics

Family don't take me serious Friends look at me like I'm delirious When I start talking dreams & visions They ain't even curious Wish I was more like my moms Who don't give a f** about other's qualms About what she doing, (Nah) She just keep it moving Or more like my dad Who would be hacking in the cab When he was chasing 'at cash Never knew when he was coming back Least he ain't have a boss He was his own driver Ain't s** up to nobody or Grovel to supervisors Or more like my brother Who's self motivated Highly disciplined & Highly educated I'm none of these things Sometimes I f**ing hate it The only thing that I got is that I'm highly creative I over-an*lyze Ask "whys" til I can't take it Think of easy fixes, cuz I'm Too damn complacent Too lazy to develop all these Talents in me latent I swear I'm sick of waitin Feel like my soul is breakin Always felt that, by 33 years old, I would've made it Not rich, so frustration is Steady mounting, Appalachian I'm proud to be a Peyton but I feel abandoned, vacant, Cuz I Feel they don't believe in me like atheists to God & Satan They don't give me validation It's just day after day and "Hey, hi. How u doin?"- & Ain't a damn thing changing Maybe I'm the only one aching Who feels some kinda way and Everything is just dandy with All the other Peytons, but we'on own real land, real livestock, patents Minerals or a lake & No government or Bu-si-ness that's, like, wholly self-sustaining &, as far as I know No plans to obtain it 'S like we In the wilderness Just wonderin & aimless So I have dreams of a future Where we work as a unit to pursue the Peytonian dream, & not have to worry about things Live the way we choose & not according to other's schemes Cuz dem ova n***a's plans Done had us steadily gettin reamed The caged bird sings But, now, he's all choked up It's 'bout to be dead silence & Ppl all broken up If the only reason I'm living Is just to make a f**in pup Then I'd rather say f** it Move on & get the f** Too lazy to be a doer A shaker, a mover Too scared for others To rely on my thinkin Never was good at chess Or, really Any type 'a gaming So where does that leave me? Cuz it seems I'm good for Nathan Nothin left but to act a fool Maybe I'll be good at entertaining So here I go, geronimo Hope someone is touched by my statements & not just touched, but value it enough to cough up payment Cuz I can't eat well wishes Despite how good it might be tasting And, Lord knows that I Can't pay this rent with congratulations And a pat on the back don't stack like dem bricks on the pavement I guess it won't be 'til a caucasian cosign me That n***as pay attention then rush the stores to find me But I was the same n***a W/o the white man behind me, & It'll be f**ed up if they value me more than my own kind Which, at present, they do Since they pay me for my time & it's sad I'm so dependent On the white man's dime & I try to reinvest it back in a black man's grind, but it's tough when Quality's shoddy & n***as be on some grime But I guess that's no reason for a n***a to stop tryin How else crabs escape da barrel Except by constant climbin? I feel like life's about miming Following the same routine Expecting something different But doing the same, ole thing I swear, to me, that's such an insane scheme But, if I do something different Then I'm insane, deemed Ostricized, demonized & then Kicked off the team Cuz I ain't play the game As childish as it seems It's time to grow up but, boy, it's tough getting weaned I see why mahf**as Stay sipping on dat lean n***a's still sipping Kool-Aid, but now it's wit Promenthezene n***as still crawlin' to the church for shelter from all the wild things It's easy to say that God lives outside of OUR being Like we ain't responsible for minding OUR thing I'm bout to be like Kanye And be on that Power thing Cuz nobody pays attention to that Peace and Flower thing I'm so serious, this year, I'm stepping off that coward thing These the last 24's I'm doin that Jack Bauer thing I'm bout to talk to J-hova Be on my Watchtower thing Report back what he said Be on my Matt Lauer thing It's such a bitter pill Such sweet & sour thing Gotta start sowing seeds 'fore u can start plowing things!