Ferris wheels and bumper cars are fun But those rides just aren't for everyone Bought my ticket i'ma have a run In the maze (whoooo!) If i don't come back or right away Give me time at least a half a day Don't just leave me lost and blown away In the maze (whoooo!) Hello ladies and gentlemen i'm jeff nipple And i'm jimbo jizm Welcome to the dark carnival's amazing maze Over 5000 ways to get in, and no way out Let's meet today's volunteer This is rick We like to call him rick the dick Dickface here is a wealthy entrepeneur Who smacks his wife around And buys his way in and out of everything Let's see how mr. toughguy fairs up in the amazing maze What up b**h? i'm violent j I'll be your guide for today, k? Good, got mad doors and mad floors Hallways, crawlways, walls for nedens Make a left just before you make a right And your left should be to your right If your lefts right, right? Good, begin the show Go on ahead boy and open up the first door Welcome to a theatrical thriller Meet jack doobie a serial k**er With a chainsaw, he takes your arm at the elbow You get it back if you make it out though f** ain't no use crying all day You need to take your b**h a** back down the hallway You gotta be a man at least you learned Everything you get in the maze you've earned Keep runnin times a tickin on the clock You might wanna tie that stump up with a sock Turn right it might look the same But you makin tracks through the room of thumbtacks This really ain't sh** About a million tacks and the room spins a bit If you stay on your feet you'll be okay Oh let me get out of your way Oh boy rick the dick is in a bit of a jam there jeff That's right jimbo He looks like a ragdoll flippin and spinnin like that You can always witness spectacles truly amazing Within the amazing maze Let's see where else rick's adventures Will lead the little dickwipe Hahaha, so you got a few tacks in your balls Pick 'em all out and head right back down the halls What's this? dead end, doors locked It's a long way back, just knock Oh should've turned around no doubt Ain't nuthin that we got to sit and argue about Keep going make a left, right left Now run straight ahead some more Open up the door Slide in the sheets, nice breeze Relax ninja take it with ease The maze is a place of magic Many surprises, your dick rises Lay down expect the best In comes your lover with a hairy chest Hello s**y i'm grim love Let me have a look at your uhh milk dud Aww sh** you fell for that I ain't gonna tell you got your hole ring tapped All that dissin of the opposite s** And look who just got they bu*thole flexed Wait! what's that? The walls are closing in, f** dat Hurry run for your life Ohh he'll be alright How's that sit with you jimbo? First he gets plugged with bullets Then he gets his bu*t plugged I think he's a f**in idiot, jeff I mean what kind of a**hole Can't find his way out of this maze? You gotta be a real dickbuffer To wind up here in the first place Right you are jimbo Let's watch the big dick f** up some more Alrighty ain't no need to fear If there's a way out it's gotta be near Hey yo look a phone You still got one good arm so it's on Can you hear? ahh tongue in your ear Drop it the phones got a life of it's own Kiss me man hey come on Slip down the slide go faster Bed of nails, disaster Quit screaming yo, hurry the f** up and open the door Woods, trees you're outside Lots of places for creeps to hide Watch your step, ahhhh, backdraft Caught your foot and the ankles left Creepin off with your stump Feel something in the rump Holla's, yeah they gonna get you How does it feel b**h get the picture Back indoors hey at last Look at your family behind the gla** They look weird, they're sayin something Listen up, you've f**ed up, you've f**ed up Oooh they're laughin and they're pointing at you At least you know what they're sayins true It's one last door you made it home, or Or what? once again it's on Ferris wheels and bumper cars are fun But those rides just aren't for everyone Bought my ticket i'ma have a run In the maze (whoooo!) If i don't come back or right away (hey) Hey man cut that sh** What the f** man, happy friendly sh** man f** dat It's supposed to be wicked in this b**h man Turn that sh** off