Injury Duty - Curious F*cking George lyrics

“I wanna live. I don't wanna die. That's the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that sh** out by myself in the third grade.” -George Carlin We salute the late great comedy legend George Carlin who died from heart failure 7 years ago today. According to the CDC, heart disease is the number ONE k**er of both men and women in the U.S. To break it down further, someone has a heart attack about every 43 SECONDS in the U.S! Sh*t is not even funny people. Genetics, lifestyle choices, race, and socioeconomic factors all play different roles in perpetuating heart disease in Americans. The good news is that you don't need much to take the first step towards a heart healthy lifestyle! Peep these 5 tips in the form of Carlin Quotes: 1. “And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National Institute of Pancakes: It reads, and I quote, “F*ck waffles.” So much of preventing heart disease is tied into what you fuel your body with. Put simply? Eat clean. A diet rich in veggies, fish, lean meats, and whole grains is so money. Limiting salt intake will help prevent heart disease by lowering the risk of high blood pressure. According to Good Health Guidelines, only 30% of your daily caloric intake should come from fats. So watch your mouth and your heart will thank you kindly! 2. “Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!” Exercise is a gift that keeps giving. No one wants to drag themselves out of their comfy bed and into a gym at the a** crack of dawn, but the endorphin boost you'll get by the end of your workout will set you up for a great day. 30-60 minutes of moderate intensity exercise on most days of the week not only keeps your heart vitalized but also lowers blood pressure, builds stamina, and helps control weight. Don't have 30 minutes? Break it into three 10 minute intervals throughout the day. Gym membership not in your budget? Exercise is as exercise does- taking stairs, mowing the lawn, doing chair pushups at your desk, going for a post-dinner walk, or shooting hoops at the park are all ways to get your heart revved up. 3. “ ‘One thing leads to another?' Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.” If you haven't figured it out already, there isn't a single damn thing that's good about smoking. Smoking increases blood pressure and releases harmful chemicals into your bloodstream that co*k block your heart and lungs from doing their jobs. There's really no other way to say it- drop the cancer sticks. No it won't be easy, but it will be so f*cking worth it! Don't know where to start? The American Heart Association offers a wealth of smoking cessation resources that'll help put you on the right path. Within five years of quitting, the risk of developing heart-disease drops to the same level as a non-smoker. Say word! 4. "A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.” People are a lot like houses. Overweight and obese individuals are more likely to develop diabetes and high blood pressure, all of which put them at a higher risk of developing heart disease and suffering a heart attack or stroke. Steps 1 and 2 listed above will go a long way in helping you maintain or get to a healthy weight. And it's not just your heart that wins- your entire body benefits when it is at its optimal size. Every pound lost counts. Set small weight loss goals that will add up to a huge difference. 5. “The reason they call it the American dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.” Lack of sleep, increased levels of stress, and trying to live like the Energizer bunny will take its toll on your heart and body. The human body is an even more amazing thing than your smartphone, which means it needs to be recharged properly to function optimally. Getting proper sleep (Mayo Clinic recommends 7-9 hours a night), and taking time out for yourself is vital to being the best version of you. "I don't like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions.” -George Carlin (1937-2008)