It was in the winter of my fiftieth year When it hit me I was really alone And there wasn't a hell a lot of time left Every laugh and touch that I could get Became more important Strangely, I became more bookish And my home and study meant more to me As I considered the circumstances of my d**h I wanted to find a balance between joy and dignity On my way out Above all, I didn't want to take any more sh** Not from anybody