Ian Dury - D'Orine The Cow lyrics

*Moo!* I'm D'Orine the Cow, Tom the Bull's better half My daughter's called Daisy, she's a very nice calf When I'm all finished milking and chewing the cud Mr. Meatface the butcher will be after my blood Cos I'm D'Orine Cow I'm D'Orine the Cow I'm somebody's quarter-pound hamburger bun And somebody's trousers now *Baa!* I'm Lofty the Lamb from the heart of the shire My texture's too coarse for your fashion attire So soon I'll be bound for the abattoir's slab Slaughtered and frozen for doner kebab Cos I'm Lofty the Lamb I'm Lofty the Lamb I seem to have gambolled my short life away I'm a sandwich instead of a ram *Cluck-cluck! Cluck-cluck!* I'm Mary the Chicken, the result of research In the dark with no feathers and wedged on this perch Pieces go missing when chickens collide Oh bury my bones with your Kentucky Fried Cos I'm Mary the Chicken I'm Mary the Chicken You wouldn't eat me if you knew where I'd been You'd be heart-stricken *Grunt!* I'm Jonathon Pig and I'm fearsomely stout From the tip of my tail to the snuff of my snout I'm too fat to move and I'm too young to die So think about me next time you eat a pork-pie Cos I'm Jonathon Pig I'm Jonathon Pig My ears have gone into the sausage machine And so has my thingumajig My thingumajig