Ian Dury And The Blockheads - Poo-Poo In The Prawn lyrics

I took a sudden notion To go down to the ocean I'd got my sun-tan lotion My flippers and my mask In proper distribution Of fully-formed ablutions Formed an ocean of pollution In which I daredn't bask Some turds were teeny-tiny And some were big and shiny But they all f**ed up the briney In which I dipped my toe If you go swimming in the sh**e-us You'll get worse than dermititis From the sea of grey detritus Where the sewage ebbs and flows There's no respite From the cess-pit No shelter from the pong The poor old ocean Is full of motions Where the hell did we go wrong? Like a lamb off to the slaughter Pored myself a gla** of water I failed to spot I'd caught a Little creature in my cup I was well and truly bolleaux-ed From the fires of hell that followed T'was the cup of life I'd swallowed And it almost did me up Something coming Through the plumbing That should not be there at all The gla** is brimming And things are swimming And quite frankly, I'm appalled I was a very hungry fella I defrosted my paella Came down with Salmonella Three weeks intensive care They failed to send technicians in To check the air-conditioning Which was unfortunately transmissioning A case of Legionnaires There's a malaise In the mayonnaise There's a poo-poo in the prawn Where we missed them In the system Little germs are being born There's no respite From the cess-pit There's no shelter from the pong Where the hell did we go wrong?