Hugh Woolridge - The Merchandisers lyrics

[Soloists] Whether you are pro or anti Or could not care less We are here to tell you We are here to sell you chess Not a chance of you escaping From our wiles We've locked the doors We've blocked the aisles We've a franchise worth exploiting And we will, yes we will! When it comes to merchandising We could k** [Female Soloists] When you get up-- [Male Soloists] When you get up in the morning-- [Soloists] Till your bedtime book You will have to live your life With bishop, knight, and rook [Male Soloists] Clean your teeth with Checkered toothpaste Wear our vests [Female Soloists] Our kings, and queens On bouncing breasts [Soloists] You could even buy a set And learn to play We don't mind We'll sell you something Anyway We've done all Our market research And our finding show That this game of chess Will be around a month or so Maybe it's a bit confusing For a game But Rubik's cubes Were much the same In the end The whole world bought one-- All were gone By which time We merchandisers Had moved on! By which time We merchandisers Had moved on!