Hotel Books - I Never Thought I Would Be Okay lyrics

I let intentions hold more power than actions and that's why I fall asleep alone I sit here idly finding timely spacing and phrasing while writing and scribbling words of watered down angst and heartbreak while my spirit runs wildly How I envy my free spirit And how I envy what I was supposed to be My heart inhabiting life's snaking lucid dreams liquid ambitions secret fiction and other seamless things packed in stitch packed in a propaganda to sell my friends on the statement that life holds meaning And I can write about the life I'm living but most often it feels like I'm just writing not living But that's never stopped me before That's never stopped me before so I continue writing and seeing that after love and learning so many things I never wanted to know And now I'm a self-taught professional at letting go Accepting that only black and white in life is now grapevines wrapping around my mind and numbing me into falling into falling in love, a sacred bond now a cultural joke Still trying to live but functioning enough to keep pushing I wish I could finally inhale and exhale freely but sometimes I need to choke I need to be reminded that this is not another formulated system I've come upon in order to feel accepted Or maybe it is Because I've become pretty good at keeping my demons at bay And I always tell myself I got them to go away But every time I move on to a new point in my life I want them to stay And everyday I'll invite them into my home stupidly just so I don't feel so alone Cause now I'm drowning Hoping somebody comes by Or sees me as something worth saving And the interesting thing about falling in love is that sometimes moving on keeps me from moving forward I found out I'm not so grave And I wanted to say this to your face but my pride scared me away So just promise me you'll tell me you love me Even if you're lying Because it's all I wanna hear So just promise me you'll tell me you love me Even if you're lying Because it's all I wanna hear Promise me you'll tell me you love me Because I love you, my dear And I know it's petty I know it's petty But then again, so were we.