Hi-Rez - Guilty Pleasure lyrics

[Hi-Rez - Intro] Hey, Rez Motherf**er Let me get a hand job [Hi-Rez - Verse 1] Suicidal bars like the thoughts in my mind I got these Rolex dreams but I'm just lost in the time And often you'll find that I'm on my grind still pockets empty Put the semi automatic to my brain and let's get busy Xanax don't even work I'm going berserk When I pop a couple for the troubles All the struggles seem to get worse Every time I breathe it just hurt So what's my life even worth? I feeling like talking to god in the temporal masquerade church I don't really care Just need answers ‘cause cancerous thoughts are Dancing all around my damn self conscious I'm positive that my pa**ion for rapping Might be decreasing in being the seasons better Than what I'm going through holding in these emotions I'm bleeding And leaking my thoughts on records And drinking to drown depression Effected with dark thoughts cause rapping ain't a profession Now my girl is getting sick of me Living is getting harder This music gun' be the d**h of me That's something that I'm sure of ‘Cause I never thought so negative This life just seem repetitive A pessimist with excellence Just trying to get his message to the people Before it's too late, I'm too great to be forgotten ‘Cause even Saddam Hussein remembered every autumn So infinity is a symphony and fame just leads to pain Let them marinate my brain, the stain from Mary strain The Mary Jane that I smoke, I'm constantly losing hope I'm walking on tight ropes, so don't trip if i write dope ‘Cause I'm just trying to let go of what's holding me back from living By making these bad decisions and holding me back from prison Nobody wanna listen, they just always disagree And judge a book by its cover; In this case the book is me Just a year ago my friends are all supporting Now ignoring all my calls is what they doing ‘Cause they don't think it's important Only trust my damn self, walking on egg shells Spitting real won't get me far ‘cause you know that s** sells Man I really need help because I've been going downhill Mad pills is what I'm popping, LOD on Advil Facts show they're blowing up i'm even less to slim to none Old enough to get respect ain't old enough to give a f** Find a cliff and get to jumping I ain't bluffing you can take your opinion And go and shove it where the motherf**ing sun don't shine There's no signs of me being happy So I bet they won't be laughing When they lowering my casket that's a fact They gun' miss me but they never showed me love They gun' wear me on their t-shirts and say how tight we was, This music started with happiness then led to pain and d** I was happy when no one knew me Ever since i got a buzz life has s**ed What the f**