Hardy Caprio - Up Til Now lyrics

Yo I'd be lying if I said I weren't jealous of Krept and Konan I thought they might have been the only ones to go and blow and I was in my own jam, I wasn't bitter cah I knew that they deserve it I was carrying the burden on my whole fam On the surface I'm trippin I'm getting old, damn Let me switch the programme, monday and I'm sittin in a vauxhall, shotgun, these bruddas went and lent in through the window with a shotgun I had a few bills two squares and a coke can... Rah there's better ways to go fam I'm in a catch 22 cos I could die catch him back and maybe catch a 22 That was a crazy night in Palace, but I made it back home like Zaha Thinking it could have been my own man, anyway I see an ambulance outside my flat, just to go and reach the top and then I find out it's my old man Mummy shoulda told man, cancer in the liver ain't a joke what do you mean that you phoned man And then the bombshell hit me cos I pressed the red bu*ton every time that the phone rang I'm a joke man, so when it hit 3:10 I never left the school gates to go home I took the 64 to mayday, mayday I couldn't look at life the same way I wasn't broke cos I never had Giuseppe's, I was broke family never had a penny I was broke and my mother and my dad couldn't provide, if they died I would barely have their memory They was always outside, and I was always outside I don't care who was against me, I saw the money as a means to escape You might understand that doesn't mean that you relate I was staying up late mum would make it home late and ask me Hardy what you doing staying up til now I was riding round up til now, but they ain't never gave a f** til now They don't know about up til now, they don't know about up til now They don't know about up til now, they won't know about up til now Yo I was happy for Stormzy I'm not a hater that win taught me I could do it major Living in Addington where I had an addict as my neighbour Kinda made the things look meek I'm not a good dream chaser I remember taking a cartridge just to go and play it in my Megadrive, Sega Mum found my brother with a cartridge, but that weren't no sega Fast forward 8 years later, I'm looking for my brother like sarskay Then the teachers emailed my mum saying academically I've been a gem need to work on my behaviour Mr Cairnes kept me in ahead of year cos they considered me a danger I was getting into fights for little things like people getting on my trainers My feet grew quicker than the budget of the house, that weren't doing me a favour I did myself a favour Im not the others do the parents never had a paper Dad was out the country Mum was a carer not a trader If life was fair I might have cared about medicine or law if not I'd rather take the money it was key, I was tryna see major The males in my life all strangers I never done these AC's so go and find my ego, I kept it under radar, pain when my mum couldn't cater I weren't greedy, I never copped Giuseppe's, it wasn't easy I lost every penny Holders got 10 if I ever got 20 So many d** still I never bumped any It's mad that a person I grew up with, when we were so close I used to run about the block with when we playing footy and we had to use the tops as the goal posts Was the world tryna get me must have thought I was a belly I'm just staying up late cos that sh** cost up til now I been riding right up til now, have I ever give a f** til now They don't know about up til now, they don't know about up til now They don't know about up til now, they won't know about up til now See they don't know How would they know How would they know See they don't know... They don't know How would they know