[Verse 1] A sh**ty situation, someone jacked my car My taste is getting larger while I'm drinking at the bar A sh**ty situation soon to be my past If you buy me a drink I'm sure I'll have a blast [Chorus] Chronic constipation like viewing others art Lovely conversation but now I have to part Decline your invitation I've got other plans My time with you is nearly through I need a brand new start [Verse 2] A sh**ty situation, now that she can't drive I better take the plunge while this thing is still alive A sh**ty situation, I hope that no one sees Should I call a cab or why not steal her keys? [Chorus] Chronic constipation like viewing others art Lovely conversation but now I have to part Decline your invitation I've got other plans My time with you is nearly through I need a brand new start [Bridge] An unsuspecting victim, a wallet or a purse Your cards and your meds are why I'm so perverse An unsuspecting victim, drinking at the bar Desperate and alone please to meet you I am Mark [Verse 3] A sh**ty situation my judgement is a skew I thought I picked up one but clearly it's a two A sh**ty situation very well rehearsed Oh is that your friend now I'm going through your purse Now I'm going through your purse Now I'm going through your purse Now I'm going through your purse Now I'm going through your p-p-purse