Guttermouth - Jaimie's Petting Zoo lyrics

Guttermouth Live From The Pharmacy Jaimie's Petting Zoo I've had my pet since i was nine years old i loved him and fed him but one day he attacked i knew he didn't love me back so i grabbed him like a football and punted fifty yards now i hate pets take yourself to the vet now i hate pets dolphins trapped in little nets now i hate pets you little f**ing screaming sh**-bag i should of let your mother eat you, little f**er so i got a little birdy and i trained it everyday he knew 1000 words but then he flew away but then i got him back the f**er wouldn't shut his trap so i took him to the bathroom and rubbed his beak in sh** now i hate pets spotted owls in their nests now i hate pets bagged a deer and made a vest now i hate pets birds and bees and bears and bison pigs and parrots and pandas i f**ing hate them all!!! i was walking through the park when a snake peered from his hole a perfect opportunity to take the ba*tard home i chopped his f**ing head off with my handy garden hoe and made a lovely hat-band for my redneck cousin bo, heee-haaw! now i hate pets 10,000 volts to the chest now i hate pets fed my cat some cigarettes now i hate pets you little f**ing screaming sh**-bag ba*tard f** you, you f**ing pig-sh** licker, f**!!!!!!