Goreshack - The Curse of Brosferatu lyrics

Not so long ago, there was an evil vampire He lived at the top of a shopping mall, and listened to a lot of bon iver Chai tea latte's were his beverage of choice, with a dash of blood of course He spent most of his evenings, driving his mom and dad's porche He was capable of flight, and turning into a bat But mostly worried if his pale a** looked fat His coven is whack, they all look glam You can see it clearly on their instagram They're all smart a**es and curse the shacks name They wear skinny jeans, how f**ing lame He gives them all something, after they're bit A grey cardigan, the mark of membership Brosferatu! The terror in the night! Brosferatu! Watch out for his bite! Brosferatu! He's coming for your wang! Brosferatu! He's after you again! Brosferatu! Enemy of the Shack! Brosferatu! Better guard your crack! Then one day, a plot was hatched, to invade wormwood beach They'd burn our shack, break our boards, and blast us with dub step beats k** our zombies for good, pour out our beer Pull steve out of his cave, and melt down his chair Shave the weredude , send him to school To be taught manners and forget how to drool Tackle doctor chainsaw, Bruising his chin Tear down the shredmill, for the recycle bin Lock us in a compound, surrounded by a fence And tell us how they helped to fund the breastilence That's not all, it get's worse, not better They'll require a uniform with a cardigan sweater What a nightmare, we can't let this happen We'll mount a defense and stomp their little a**es! They're invading our beach, it's time to fight, let's kick some f**ing a**! Rip off their gla**es and cardigans and stab them with some broken gla**! Someone goes berserk mode! It's a f**ing cop? It's Deltawing Officer Rathbun, busting shots non stop! Out of the blue b**hes start to fly, it's our Aussie bro Alex Potts! A brutal jiu jitsu master, he hacks and chokes and stomps! Brosferatu himself! He's f**ing mad! That little punk b**h even brought his mom and dad! Dad points and yells "you boys better stop!" Rathbun drew his gun, and blew his co*k off! Brosferatu swooped down but was abruptly stopped Potts had his a** in a crazy leg lock! He almost had him dead, but he lost his hold He died almost instantly his body turned cold! Brosferatu! What an a**hole! Brosferatu! Hipster scum! Brosferatu! You dick! Brosferatu! Bon Iver s**s! Brosferatu! We should piss on his cardigan! Brosferatu! We kicked your a**, God damn it! Weredude howled! His aussie buddy's dead! He went f**ing nuts, he started to shred Rathbun wasn't watching, he didn't dodge So he fell victim, to a flailing claw His blood drained out, limp his body fell Steve saw it happen, tears began to swell He conjured voodoo spells, fire began to fall Most of those b**hes ran back to the mall