Goldie Lookin Chain - At The Job Centre lyrics

Welcome to the job centre, come on in Fill out the forms, let's begin! "What type of job are you looking for?" "What type of job did you do before?" If you're not sure we can do a special search If you're the priest, we can find the church If you think your soul's rubbish we'll find you a dust-cart Job-seekers all scream for "restart!" Walk in, grab a little bit of paper Roll up for the magical caper Come to the counter, make you a wish Granted by the staff always sittin on their Sarfish Come on in, always havin a laugh Give you a check if you give us an autograph Every two weeks, you get it in the post I like spending mine on booze the most! [Hook] At the Job Centre, life's a laugh They gives you free cash for yer autograph! (Give me some money!) Sign up, sign on, everyone come along Drink lager outside, but only if it's strong Then inside to make your appointment If you got no money it's always worth a punt Some people been going there for ages Their file's like the bible but its got more pages If you're new they won't recognize your head Send your mitts to sign on, while you stay in bed Get on the dole! Make a stand! Remember not to tell them 'bout the 'cash in hand' Sat next to a bloke who really stank Sayin' the Job Centre was his personal bank Dress up like a tramp, makin you unemployable Gettin free monies and makin life more enjoyable People of all creeds, all shapes, all ages Are votin the problem off minimum wages [Hook] At the Job Centre, life's a laugh! They gives you free cash for yer autograph! (Give me some money!) Now and then I go through the riggamarole Cause I know the loop-holes when it comes to dole I'm going for the jackpot, it's going to pay Cause I'm all about the notion of doin half-A There's no harm in telling a little white lie When I sail up for work, low and high Fifty quid a week is all I'm lookin' for To supplement my income from sellin' draw "What about a vocation as a kid's clown?" "What about a job where I can lie down?" He said, "Man, you must be havin' a laugh." It's not a career, but it's my chosen path He says, "It's not this week," and signs my little book It's bout the scratch of my a**, and I'm promised a look But I'll go back to the Job Centre again Cause it's warm, and I get a free pen! [Hook] At the Job Centre, life's a laugh! They gives you free cash for yer autograph! (Give me some money!) [Refrain] I told them I used to be something in the city Chairman of the Board, Head of the Committee He didn't believe me and I had no proof I don't even wear a suit, so I told him the truth "I want some money can you give me some?" I don't really have an education You can send me on a course, I can do some basic training But when it comes to work - I'm abstaining I told him that I trained as a deep-sea diver And my last job was a "professional Skyper" This didn't help, I could tell by his demeanor Cause he offered me work as a part-time cleaner So I had to go for the last resort I said I broke my neck, when I was playing sports Now I spends my days, sitting on my a** And get plasti- ? , with my free bus pa**! [Hook] At the Job Centre, life's a laugh! They gives you free cash for yer autograph!{x2} I had a job in a bank, but I lost the cash I sold weed from my flat, but I smoked the stash