Gilbert O'sullivan - Or So They Say lyrics

I've never been able To stand on a table Without using both of my feet I've always resisted The choice that was listed Whenever I sat down to eat Now don't think me rude But that dress is so low cut Your navel is sticking out And not that I'm curious But seeing how low yours is I wonder where mine is about I read in the newspapers only today That tomorrow's will be even better Liquid detergent is now guaranteed To absorb all the dirt from your sweater Or so they say We once had a neighbor Who came from Jamaica (No, she came of her own accord) Who talked with an accent Like that of a Dachshund Whose cousin the Queen had adored Oh how would you like it If I was invited To Lords on the first day of play I'm no Gary Sobers But I can bowl overs In quite an unorthodox way Now cricket's a game that can baffle us all It's the silly mid-on that gets me Silly or not, it's enthralling to watch Only maidens of course disagree Or so they say Life is so often a dullish affair It's no wonder that crime has increased What does it matter, if there's no hereafter We're here after all just to breathe Or so they say And as I finish playing This is my way of saying "The End"